theuscerock
11-21-2006, 12:35 AM
The Infamous Clemson Eulogy
by Steve Turner (College Minister at Shandon Baptist)
Brothers and Sisters of The Gamecock Nation.
We are gathered here tonight, to say goodbye, to bid a final farewell to the Tiger from Clempson.
Now friends we did not wish this upon this warrior of the jungle, But justice must be served. (Can I get an amen)
A Cat is known by the company he keeps. This cat, ohhhh, this cat has lowered himself below low, this cat has fell from grace, this cat has brought disgrace upon his species.
How can such a noble warrior end up in the land of hello kitty, how can the tiger coexist in the pasture with the cow. How can the tiger call Clempson home
Clemson a place where…
Cow tipping is a division I sport
A place where
A John Deere Tractor Is A Luxury SUV
A Place Where
Where The Esso Never became an Exxon because they need the X to sign their name.
Clemson a place where…
They stare at orange juice containers because it says “concentrate”
A place where…
Spit cups are more important than WIFI
A place where….
The color orange is good for the hunting field, the football field, and the side of the road picking up trash
Clemson a place where…
Reruns of HeeHaw are considered documentaries
A place where…
Where they don’t need title 9 gender equity in sports because who can tell the difference.
A place where
Hi-Def is someone on a mountain who can’t hear well.
Yes This is the Clemson that this Tiger aligned himself with. Oh the shame, the sorrow, the fall.
A place where on Saturday
Spam will be a major tailgate food
Orange Overalls Will Be considered Sexy
But most of all a place
Where the real funeral will begin!
Yes Tiger the end is near!
Behold your demise!
The Gamecock Nation
Is About To Rise!
Can I get An Amen and A Hallelujah!
My time is short and it is cold. I feel the need to heat this place up in just a minute! Let me close with a poem I have penned for this occasion, borrowing from a famous holiday classic..
Twas the week before the battle
And all through the land
Not a creature was stirring
The game was at hand
The helmets were hung by the lockers with care
With hopes that a victory soon would be theirs
The tigers were prideful
All smug and well fed
While visions of Corso
Danced in their heads
And Bowden and his clan, planned for the game
Thinking the results would be much the same
But then there arose a team from the south
Led by a wily veteran and staff
The ole ball coach was ready, the game plan in sight
As he shouted and called out his team for the fight
Now Rice and McKinley, Now Newton and Mitchell
On Succop and Brinkley, On Boyd and Lindsey
All Gamecocks March Forward, Death Valley Now Calls
The Tiger Once Mighty, This Week You Must Fall!
Your Stadium’s Well Named For Your Destiny This Week
It won’t be a place for The Mild or the Meek
We’ll bring All Our Weapons, We’ll run and we’ll throw
Our Defense Will Rise Up, Our Power We’ll Show
We’ll bury you deep in the valley called death
Not a single cheer left, not even a breath
The ole ball coach triumphant, his team’s head held high
The Gamecocks victorious, I hear the battle Cry!
The Tiger defeated, put down and called dead
A long sad cold winter is all that is ahead
Tiger,You brought this upon yourself, I wish you had learned
There’s nothing left to say but this….. Burn Tiger Burn
by Steve Turner (College Minister at Shandon Baptist)
Brothers and Sisters of The Gamecock Nation.
We are gathered here tonight, to say goodbye, to bid a final farewell to the Tiger from Clempson.
Now friends we did not wish this upon this warrior of the jungle, But justice must be served. (Can I get an amen)
A Cat is known by the company he keeps. This cat, ohhhh, this cat has lowered himself below low, this cat has fell from grace, this cat has brought disgrace upon his species.
How can such a noble warrior end up in the land of hello kitty, how can the tiger coexist in the pasture with the cow. How can the tiger call Clempson home
Clemson a place where…
Cow tipping is a division I sport
A place where
A John Deere Tractor Is A Luxury SUV
A Place Where
Where The Esso Never became an Exxon because they need the X to sign their name.
Clemson a place where…
They stare at orange juice containers because it says “concentrate”
A place where…
Spit cups are more important than WIFI
A place where….
The color orange is good for the hunting field, the football field, and the side of the road picking up trash
Clemson a place where…
Reruns of HeeHaw are considered documentaries
A place where…
Where they don’t need title 9 gender equity in sports because who can tell the difference.
A place where
Hi-Def is someone on a mountain who can’t hear well.
Yes This is the Clemson that this Tiger aligned himself with. Oh the shame, the sorrow, the fall.
A place where on Saturday
Spam will be a major tailgate food
Orange Overalls Will Be considered Sexy
But most of all a place
Where the real funeral will begin!
Yes Tiger the end is near!
Behold your demise!
The Gamecock Nation
Is About To Rise!
Can I get An Amen and A Hallelujah!
My time is short and it is cold. I feel the need to heat this place up in just a minute! Let me close with a poem I have penned for this occasion, borrowing from a famous holiday classic..
Twas the week before the battle
And all through the land
Not a creature was stirring
The game was at hand
The helmets were hung by the lockers with care
With hopes that a victory soon would be theirs
The tigers were prideful
All smug and well fed
While visions of Corso
Danced in their heads
And Bowden and his clan, planned for the game
Thinking the results would be much the same
But then there arose a team from the south
Led by a wily veteran and staff
The ole ball coach was ready, the game plan in sight
As he shouted and called out his team for the fight
Now Rice and McKinley, Now Newton and Mitchell
On Succop and Brinkley, On Boyd and Lindsey
All Gamecocks March Forward, Death Valley Now Calls
The Tiger Once Mighty, This Week You Must Fall!
Your Stadium’s Well Named For Your Destiny This Week
It won’t be a place for The Mild or the Meek
We’ll bring All Our Weapons, We’ll run and we’ll throw
Our Defense Will Rise Up, Our Power We’ll Show
We’ll bury you deep in the valley called death
Not a single cheer left, not even a breath
The ole ball coach triumphant, his team’s head held high
The Gamecocks victorious, I hear the battle Cry!
The Tiger defeated, put down and called dead
A long sad cold winter is all that is ahead
Tiger,You brought this upon yourself, I wish you had learned
There’s nothing left to say but this….. Burn Tiger Burn