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Acockolypse Now 09-02-2014 06:59 PM

Acock's SEC Wrap Up 2014: Week 1
 
Ah another year of SEC Football™. With the addition of the SEC Network and all the preseason hype, Gamecock Fans simply could not WAIT for football season to arrive. Remember what they say about being careful what you wish for.

Away we go...

Game 1: #18 Ole Miss 35 Boise State 13
Although not as impressive as this would have been 5 years ago, Ole Miss opened with a legit team and scored a decisive win. Bo Wallace went straight to murder-town in the 4th, breaking open a 7-6 game with three straight TD passes. It didn't hurt that Boise State threw 4 INTs either.

Game 2: Kentucky 59 UT-Martin 14
Holy smokes guys, Kentucky is for real, Stoops is the man! In week one they laid the wood to Tennessee...wait...what? UT-who? UT-Martin. UT-Martin? Is that even a real thing, or is that some guy named Martin that hosts an extension campus out of his basement? Whatever, a wins a win baby.

Game 3: #24 Missouri 38 South Dakota State 18
This one went exactly how you thought it would go, except there were small signs of trouble here. SDS gained 365 total yards on Mizzou, and Matty Mauk only tossed the ball for 178 yards. Still, a solid win.

Game 4: #2 Alabama 33 West Virginia 23
A much tighter game than most people expected, although the stats clearly show that 'Bama ball controlled this one and ground it out. Still, not the dominating performance everyone expected. West Virginia's QB is named Clint Trickett. That kid clearly missed his calling as a NASCAR driver.

Game 5: Mississippi State 49 Southern Miss 0
This is not your Dad's Southern Miss team, as clearly they are awful. Don't sleep of Mississippi State this year though, as they did what they were supposed to; curb stomp an inferior opponent.

Game 6: Tennessee 38 Utah State 7
Tennessee may not be "back" in the purest sense of the word, but the SEC is on notice, UT is in the mix again in the East. Dammit.

Game 7: #6 Auburn 45 Arkansas 21
If Arkansas ever puts two halves of football together they could be a legitimately dangerous team. As it is it looks like another "next year" year for the Hog faithful. Much like their morals, Auburn's running game is deeply troubling.

Game 8: #21 Texas A&M 52 #9 South Carolina 28
That did not go at all like we planned it.

Game 9: Temple 37 Vanderbilt 7
For those of you wondering how good of a coach Franklin is...that good.

Game 10: Florida / Idaho: DNF
They didn't play a game in the Swamp due to rain. Congrats Muschamp, you found a way to not beat Idaho. In his press conference he talked about the integrity of the game and the safety of his players. In his press conference, Idaho's coach said, "we still get paid...right?!"

Game 11: #12 Georgia 45 #16 Clemson 21
Georgia has 4 Herschel Walker's playing for them. Clemson actually looked OK until the 4th quarter...and then they looked not OK. Like, "are you guys still playing or what?" not OK.

Game 12: #13 LSU 28 #24 Wisconsin 24
Game of the week! LSU looked like they were going to get run out of the building and then nutted up and smash-mouthed Whisky into submission. THAT is how the SEC is supposed to look.

Week 13 Power Ranking
1. Texas A&M (1-0)
Next up Lamar: Did I over-rank them? Probably. But I saw them up close and in person and they are legit. We won't find out next week as they play some guy named Lamar.

2. Auburn (1-0)
Next up San Jose State: Hard to argue with what Auburn did to Arkansas. It's so early in the season that it's hard to say with any certainty, but I'd say Auburn is cheating.

3. LSU (1-0)
Next up Sam Houston: I almost dropped them for playing a Big 10 team close, but Whisky is damn good. LSU is usually schizo as hell, so don't expect this to stick.

4. Georgia (1-0)
Next up OFF: How do you get a bye week in week 2? Seriously, how does that actually happen?

5. 'Bama (1-0)
Next up FAU: I've gone and made some fat people mad, but look, WVU is not a good team, and you barely scraped by. The AP will let 'Bama get away with that, but I won't.

6. Ole Miss (1-0)
Next up @Vandy: A year ago this would have been a good test. Now it's just looking like a pop quiz.

7. Mizzou (1-0)
Next up @Toledo: Who schedules an away game at Toledo? You're in the SEC Mizzou, start acting like it.

8. MSU (1-0)
Next up UAB: I wonder if Dan Mullen ever drives around Starksville and cries, just a little? I'm betting his wife does.

9. Tennessee (1-0)
Next up Arkansas State: Blake Anderson is the head coach at Arkansas State. Remember that because it's not only because it's bound to be the answer to an AFLAC trivia question at some point this year, but because he'll be a head coach at some other school come next year.

10. South Carolina (0-1)
Next up ECU: Probably dropped us a little far, but I have some legit concerns here. A win against ECU could right the ship, but a loss could start a Florida-like slide.

11. Kentucky (1-0)
Next up Ohio: Still Kentucky, and it's still football season.

12. Arkansas (0-1)
Next up Nicholls State: Another team I've probably underranked, since they looked pretty good against Auburn. Last year's memories are so fresh though...

13. Vanderbilt (0-1)
Next up Ole Miss: Anchor Down's not just a slogan.

Not ranked: Florida (0)
Next up Eastern Michigan: Much like a Colombian drug lord, I can't rate the product if I can't see it.

Master Bedroom 09-02-2014 08:02 PM

Re: Acock's SEC Wrap Up 2014: Week 1
 
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Nxqokot4r4...2BLattrell.jpg

Jbsc88 09-02-2014 09:02 PM

Re: Acock's SEC Wrap Up 2014: Week 1
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Acockolypse Now (Post 4247345)
Ah another year of SEC Football™. With the addition of the SEC Network and all the preseason hype, Gamecock Fans simply could not WAIT for football season to arrive. Remember what they say about being careful what you wish for.

Away we go...

Game 1: #18 Ole Miss 35 Boise State 13
Although not as impressive as this would have been 5 years ago, Ole Miss opened with a legit team and scored a decisive win. Bo Wallace went straight to murder-town in the 4th, breaking open a 7-6 game with three straight TD passes. It didn't hurt that Boise State threw 4 INTs either.

Game 2: Kentucky 59 UT-Martin 14
Holy smokes guys, Kentucky is for real, Stoops is the man! In week one they laid the wood to Tennessee...wait...what? UT-who? UT-Martin. UT-Martin? Is that even a real thing, or is that some guy named Martin that hosts an extension campus out of his basement? Whatever, a wins a win baby.

Game 3: #24 Missouri 38 South Dakota State 18
This one went exactly how you thought it would go, except there were small signs of trouble here. SDS gained 365 total yards on Mizzou, and Matty Mauk only tossed the ball for 178 yards. Still, a solid win.

Game 4: #2 Alabama 33 West Virginia 23
A much tighter game than most people expected, although the stats clearly show that 'Bama ball controlled this one and ground it out. Still, not the dominating performance everyone expected. West Virginia's QB is named Clint Trickett. That kid clearly missed his calling as a NASCAR driver.

Game 5: Mississippi State 49 Southern Miss 0
This is not your Dad's Southern Miss team, as clearly they are awful. Don't sleep of Mississippi State this year though, as they did what they were supposed to; curb stomp an inferior opponent.

Game 6: Tennessee 38 Utah State 7
Tennessee may not be "back" in the purest sense of the word, but the SEC is on notice, UT is in the mix again in the East. Dammit.

Game 7: #6 Auburn 45 Arkansas 21
If Arkansas ever puts two halves of football together they could be a legitimately dangerous team. As it is it looks like another "next year" year for the Hog faithful. Much like their morals, Auburn's running game is deeply troubling.

Game 8: #21 Texas A&M 52 #9 South Carolina 28
That did not go at all like we planned it.

Game 9: Temple 37 Vanderbilt 7
For those of you wondering how good of a coach Franklin is...that good.

Game 10: Florida / Idaho: DNF
They didn't play a game in the Swamp due to rain. Congrats Muschamp, you found a way to not beat Idaho. In his press conference he talked about the integrity of the game and the safety of his players. In his press conference, Idaho's coach said, "we still get paid...right?!"

Game 11: #12 Georgia 45 #16 Clemson 21
Georgia has 4 Herschel Walker's playing for them. Clemson actually looked OK until the 4th quarter...and then they looked not OK. Like, "are you guys still playing or what?" not OK.

Game 12: #13 LSU 28 #24 Wisconsin 24
Game of the week! LSU looked like they were going to get run out of the building and then nutted up and smash-mouthed Whisky into submission. THAT is how the SEC is supposed to look.

Week 13 Power Ranking
1. Texas A&M (1-0)
Next up Lamar: Did I over-rank them? Probably. But I saw them up close and in person and they are legit. We won't find out next week as they play some guy named Lamar.

2. Auburn (1-0)
Next up San Jose State: Hard to argue with what Auburn did to Arkansas. It's so early in the season that it's hard to say with any certainty, but I'd say Auburn is cheating.

3. LSU (1-0)
Next up Sam Houston: I almost dropped them for playing a Big 10 team close, but Whisky is damn good. LSU is usually schizo as hell, so don't expect this to stick.

4. Georgia (1-0)
Next up OFF: How do you get a bye week in week 2? Seriously, how does that actually happen?

5. 'Bama (1-0)
Next up FAU: I've gone and made some fat people mad, but look, WVU is not a good team, and you barely scraped by. The AP will let 'Bama get away with that, but I won't.

6. Ole Miss (1-0)
Next up @Vandy: A year ago this would have been a good test. Now it's just looking like a pop quiz.

7. Mizzou (1-0)
Next up @Toledo: Who schedules an away game at Toledo? You're in the SEC Mizzou, start acting like it.

8. MSU (1-0)
Next up UAB: I wonder if Dan Mullen ever drives around Starksville and cries, just a little? I'm betting his wife does.

9. Tennessee (1-0)
Next up Arkansas State: Blake Anderson is the head coach at Arkansas State. Remember that because it's not only because it's bound to be the answer to an AFLAC trivia question at some point this year, but because he'll be a head coach at some other school come next year.

10. South Carolina (0-1)
Next up ECU: Probably dropped us a little far, but I have some legit concerns here. A win against ECU could right the ship, but a loss could start a Florida-like slide.

11. Kentucky (1-0)
Next up Ohio: Still Kentucky, and it's still football season.

12. Arkansas (0-1)
Next up Nicholls State: Another team I've probably underranked, since they looked pretty good against Auburn. Last year's memories are so fresh though...

13. Vanderbilt (0-1)
Next up Ole Miss: Anchor Down's not just a slogan.

Not ranked: Florida (0)
Next up Eastern Michigan: Much like a Colombian drug lord, I can't rate the product if I can't see it.



:clap:

Ericvol2096 09-03-2014 09:49 AM

Re: Acock's SEC Wrap Up 2014: Week 1
 
The Miss St comments were gold...lol.

I think everyone may be jumping the gun on TN a bit right now. I think we are REALLY improved on D, but our OL is going to be a bigger issue than I thought, especially against OK, UGA, UF, OM and Bama.

I think this is a 7 win team at best and with a few more OL or DL injuries could be 5 win team again.

Next year we will finally have the depth to make it through an entire SEC season competing though.

spareparts 09-03-2014 06:00 PM

Re: Acock's SEC Wrap Up 2014: Week 1
 
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/...-deschanel.gif

spareparts 09-03-2014 06:00 PM

Re: Acock's SEC Wrap Up 2014: Week 1
 
Also, Clint Trickett just hit the wall


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