Happy Father's Day
Father’s Day 2014: 11 signs you’re turning into your Dad
We try to fight it, but it’s inevitable. We will all one day be like our fathers. Try as we might, science just gets in the way.
If you think you’re winning your fight against it, have a look at these points below and see how much you’re turning into your father…
1. There is never anything on TV
Despite having over 900 channels, there never seems to be anything on TV. So you just spend your evenings flicking through the channels, getting to the end and heading back to 101 to start again. Eventually you’ll just put on a repeat of Top Gear or QI.
2. You stop fighting going bald and grey
When you’re young and foolish, you will fight this inevitability with all you have. As you get older (and more like your Dad), you’ll just accept this. Even trying to hide it with stylish combovers becomes a chore.
3. Golf becomes a legit sport to watch
But golf is a legit sport to watch now surely? No, it’s not. But it soon will be. And not only will it be a sport you watch – and genuinely enjoy – you will even listen to it on the radio.
4. Cleaning the car is a brilliant way to spend a Sunday
Lazy Sunday afternoons are no longer designed for Come Dine With Me or Don’t Tell the Bride marathons, they will be used to clean the car. Thoroughly. And not only will this not be a chore, it will be one of the highlights of your week.
5. You, and only you, can man the barbeque
Because only you know how to man a barbeque properly. You are the only person who knows how to properly season the burgers, char the sausages so they’re the right side of burnt and overcook the chicken drumsticks so they can be used as murder weapon in Cluedo.
Kids today, they don’t know anything about how to man a barbeque.
6. Saying things like ‘in my day’ and thinking you’re right
Now, this could be seen as you becoming an old curmudgeon rather than your Dad, but have you ever spoken to someone about the state of the world and said the words, ‘in my day’? Do you know who else has said that a lot? Your Dad.
And you say it because you’re right. In your day, we didn’t need iPads or online games for fun. We had Etch-a-Sketch and multi-tap ports to allow for four people to play the same game. Much better.
7. If you were running this country, everything would be sorted
This country is a shambles. But do you know who can fix it? The people down the pub after work who know a thing or two about a thing or two.
8. Thinking you’re right, being proven wrong, but still arguing you’re right
Because, dammit, in your head you’re right.
9. You know what’s best for other people’s cars
Not only do other drivers not know how to drive when you’re on the roads, but no one (apart from you) knows how to look after a car properly. So, it’s up to you to show the world how it’s done correctly.
10. Posing for embarrassing photos while on holiday
Posing for pictures while on holiday is fun, but posing for embarrassing photos while on holiday is hilarious. Especially if you’re at Disney World.
11. Dancing at weddings
Because who doesn’t want to be the Dad who dances at weddings?
Yech, I can hear you misspelling words as you speak!