Originally Posted by spareparts
What is your opinion of where you should draw the line between disciplining a child and what constitutes child abuse?
Last night we witnessed a child (around 5 years old) being disciplined in public and it was excessive and the child was humiliated.
I'm an Old School dude with old fashioned values, but they do have limits.
I was disciplined by spanking / whippings from my parents and at the time
I thought it was abuse. As soon as I got old enough to realize what the REAL
WORLD was, and that it didn't revolve around what I wanted and what I
thought, the lights came on and I also realized my parents loved me enough
to TEACH through the discipline. I can tell you now, that I didn't get my ass
spanked or switched a single time that I didn't deserve it, and I dearly love
my mom and dad both for having foresight to use their discipline wisely
and keep me grounded through my childhood. Through them I learned how
and how not to discipline my kids and I hope they view me with the same
regards now that they are on their own.
I spanked and whipped my kids when I felt the deserved it, and when they
"cried it out" I made it a point to go back to them after a time of reflection,
and explain to them why the got the punishment, and to let them know I
hated having to do what I did BUT............... it always ended in a hug and
me telling them I loved them. When I had to discipline my kids in a public
place, they were taken to the restroom or to the car. I never spanked my
children in the public eye, and if there were occasions when I couldn't avoid
spanking them without having people see it, It waited until we got home or
the hotel room etc.... NEVER IN PUBLIC VIEW !
Even at that, I don't "necessarily" disagree with a parent spanking a child in
public, but a lot of what I see today is downright disgusting for me to observe.
Cussing a child in public, pulling a child forcibly by the arm, or slapping them
in the face is NOT Discipline !!! That comes after having listened to the child
cry and scream at a parent (using the term lightly here) has allowed the
child to annoy the hell out of everyone around them as well as the parent, and
the "parent" finally let's it get to them to the point that they "go off" on the
kid unmercifully, not only embarrassing and humiliating the child, but themselves as
well. At that point, the "parent" is already mad at the world, and doesn't care
how it looks to those around them.
It's a phrase thrown out a lot as sarcasm in those times, but it's really true.
People should have to pass some kind of examination before being allowed