Re: "Sams gets his first sack"
"Sam tackles quarterback for a loss during pass play for the first time as an NFL player" doesn't have the same ring to it.
They could go with the Talladega Nights caveat and add "that is a statement of fact and has nothing to do with his sexual orientation".
"You're probably wondering, "why the red suit?" It's so the bad guys can't see me bleed...
Let's hope these guys brought their brown pants!"