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Thread: Understanding Men.

  1. #1
    Sweet Southern Pearl Natalie83's Avatar
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    Default Understanding Men.

    "IT'S A GUY THING"
    Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
    Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

    "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
    Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
    Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Translated: "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

    "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
    Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

    "OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU."
    Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
    Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
    Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

  2. #2
    Sweet Southern Pearl Natalie83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Here's a look at 10 things women say that drive men nuts.
    1) "That looks cute."
    For the most part, men hate cute. We don't want to hear about it, we don't want to see it, and we sure as hell don't want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there's a 100 percent chance we're changing. We're supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into that picture.
    2) "We need to talk."
    These four words shut off a man's brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately go into flight mode. And anything they can do to get out of this conversation—and better yet, your apartment—they will. There are plenty of other ways to approach a delicate conversation, and getting us in a place where we feel comfortable is a good start.
    3) "It's just a game."
    Actually, it's not just a game. Sports are a major part of our lives and the outcome has as much to do with our mood as just about anything else. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it immature? Maybe. But it's life. Sometimes we just care too much. We understand that it doesn't make sense, but you should be happy that we're that passionate about something. Telling us that "it's just a game" is like us telling you that Oprah's just a talk show.
    4) "Nothing's wrong."
    Please don't tell us nothing's wrong. The look on your face could make the toughest guy on the planet weep like a third-grade girl and your arms are crossed so tight you might explode. We're not mind readers; tell us what's going on. And don't make us guess because—believe me—you won't like what we come up with.
    5) "I sound like my mom."
    The mere fact that you might turn into your mom someday scares the hell out of us. Don't say it, even in jest—it's not funny. We actually believe (and pray) that the saying "every woman ends up looking like their mother" is an old wives' tale. If we didn't, no one would ever get married.

    6) "I just want to be friends."
    No you don't. You just want us to stop calling you. This is a lot like pulling off a band-aid. Do it quick—don't prolong the agony. Most of us take "I just want to be friends" as "There's still a chance," so if there isn't just make it a clean break and move on. Everyone will be much better because of it.
    7) "Size doesn't matter."
    Don't lie to us. We know it does, and we're doing our best to make up for it in other ways. It's best just to not say anything at all.

    8) "What are you wearing?"
    We're wearing whatever's clean or whatever you tell us to. We don't plan out our wardrobe days in advance, but we do actually try and look presentable. It may not work a lot of the time, but we do give it a shot. Giving us direction is completely encouraged though, so go ahead and suggest … nicely.
    9) "Do you think she's pretty?"
    Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn't mean we think any less of you. We try to be as discreet as possible, but for the most part, we can't help it. It's in our DNA. When an attractive woman walks by, it's best to just pretend nothing happened.
    10) "Which outfit do you like better?"
    I'm going to be honest here—90 percent of the guys out there are not going to tell you which outfit they like better: They're going to try to pick the one you like better and not get into a holy war when the babysitter is due any minute. To us, you always look good. Getting a couple cocktails and spending as much time as we can without the kids is our ultimate goal for a rare night out.

  3. #3
    RIP Feisty & C-Girl MEL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    So true! With so many differences, it's hard for me to think that God made men & women compatible when we are such polar opposites!

  4. #4
    Sweet Southern Pearl Natalie83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Quote Originally Posted by MEL View Post
    So true! With so many differences, it's hard for me to think that God made men & women compatible when we are such polar opposites!
    I know, I do not understand men at all. I think I have one firgured out and I am wrong.

  5. #5
    Keeper of the Booze GotSpurrier82's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie83 View Post
    "It's just a game."
    Sports, especially football, are life. Everything else is just details.

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie83 View Post
    "Size doesn't matter."
    Yes it does.

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie83 View Post
    "Do you think she's pretty?"
    Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn't mean we think any less of you. We try to be as discreet as possible, but for the most part, we can't help it. It's in our DNA. When an attractive woman walks by, it's best to just pretend nothing happened.
    In what universe?
    There ain't no rest for the wicked, 'til we close our eyes for good.

  6. #6
    Sweet Southern Pearl Natalie83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Quote Originally Posted by GotSpurrier82 View Post
    Sports, especially football, are life. Everything else is just details.


    Yes it does.


    In what universe?
    1. I know, to find a man that cared more about their woman than football would be a perfect thing.
    2. I don't think so really.
    3.I know right, to find a guy who actually only wanted to look at their woman would be perfect also.

  7. #7
    Keeper of the Booze GotSpurrier82's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    It's not that they care more about football; I don't care more about football than my friends and family. I just really really enjoy it.

    And while guys look at other women, we look at other men too. But as long as they don't cheat and we don't cheat, it's all good.

    Yes, size does matter.
    There ain't no rest for the wicked, 'til we close our eyes for good.

  8. #8
    Sweet Southern Pearl Natalie83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Quote Originally Posted by GotSpurrier82 View Post
    It's not that they care more about football; I don't care more about football than my friends and family. I just really really enjoy it.

    And while guys look at other women, we look at other men too. But as long as they don't cheat and we don't cheat, it's all good.

    Yes, size does matter.
    You're a girl but I know they don't really care more about football. I still don't agree about size but since we are on a public forum I won't get into it.

  9. #9
    Game MVP Waya's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Uh size matters....that's all I have to say about that.

  10. #10
    Sweet Southern Pearl Natalie83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    I am still not convinced on this size thing.... really.

  11. #11
    AWAY AR1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie83 View Post
    I am still not convinced on this size thing.... really.
    Size doesn't matter unless they know how to use it
    SIGNED OUT

  12. #12
    Sweet Southern Pearl Natalie83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Understanding Men.

    Quote Originally Posted by 1Shot View Post
    Size doesn't matter unless they know how to use it
    I agree. It's how they use it not what they have.

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