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Old 01-17-2014, 09:28 PM   #1
taylorssc
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Default Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

Yea, the offseason is here...

http://www.nj.com/jets/index.ssf/201...n_his_car.html

Quote:
When*Jets*tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. wasarrested for possession of synthetic marijuana*outside a Target in East Hanover back in November, police were called to the scene because a woman thought she saw him masturbating in his vehicle in the parking lot, according to court documents.

The redacted incident report from East Hanover police shows that on Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m., cops responded to a call from a woman who said she had parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade outside the Target along Route 10. A man was sitting inside the Escalade with the window open, said the woman, whose name was redacted in the incident report. That man would later be identified as Winslow, 30, who lives in Madison.

From the report:

As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.

By the time police arrived, an officer found Winslow allegedly "slouched in his seat and moving around." Winslow sprang to an upright position when the officer arrived.*
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Old 01-17-2014, 09:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

I don't understand why she called the cops on him.

Maybe I am a pervert or maybe I am missing some details.


Also, I think it is important to point out that I have never masturbated in a car or in a public place.
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Old 01-17-2014, 09:44 PM   #3
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

This is just crazy. I guess I haven't seen or heard everything yet.
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Old 01-17-2014, 10:08 PM   #4
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

She's just a ratchet bitch that needs to mind her damn business!
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Old 01-18-2014, 12:13 AM   #5
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

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She's just a ratchet bitch that needs to mind her damn business!
What does that even mean?! Pop Culture is stupid.
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Old 01-18-2014, 11:03 AM   #6
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

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Originally Posted by robgusc76 View Post
What does that even mean?! Pop Culture is stupid.
Nurse Ratchet from 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" maybe? She was quite the beyotch and would stop any selfie...
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Old 01-19-2014, 11:26 AM   #7
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

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Originally Posted by robgusc76 View Post
What does that even mean?! Pop Culture is stupid.
I'm not even really sure.
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Old 01-17-2014, 10:16 PM   #8
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

Swiss or cheddar?
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:39 PM   #9
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

So is this what they mean by carjacking?
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Old 01-18-2014, 12:42 AM   #10
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

Maybe he wanted her to lend a hand.
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Old 01-18-2014, 02:35 AM   #11
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

Sounds as if the police were Targeting.
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Old 01-18-2014, 12:35 PM   #12
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

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Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
Sounds as if the police were Targeting.
Indeed! That's like 10 minutes from me. Can't say I've seen similar in my travels
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Old 01-18-2014, 08:40 AM   #13
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

So you shouldn't do this?
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Old 01-18-2014, 09:15 AM   #14
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

Jets the gift that keeps on giving.
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Old 01-18-2014, 12:32 PM   #15
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

Can't even beat off in your own car now? SMH, that women is a bitch
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Old 01-18-2014, 06:20 PM   #16
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

hopefully they flagged him for illegal use of hands.
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Old 01-20-2014, 03:49 AM   #17
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

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Originally Posted by AtlGAMECOCK View Post
hopefully they flagged him for illegal use of hands.
Nope. Illegal touching.
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Old 01-20-2014, 03:59 AM   #18
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

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Originally Posted by Acockolypse Now View Post
Nope. Illegal touching.
Offensive Holding
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Old 01-20-2014, 04:17 AM   #19
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Default Re: Keller Winslow Jr Caught Beating Off In His Car

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Originally Posted by Sonofacock View Post
Offensive Holding
Targeting, going at the head.
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