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Old 03-20-2014, 03:12 PM   #1
robgusc76
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Default Social Media etiquette discussion time

First off let me preface by saying that I think its completely busch to "hit" on a girl via Facebook if you don't really know her. But that brings up another question. When, if ever is it ok?

Example, you knew a girl/guy from somewhere in the past, have talked, but never anything beyond that. But you've always wanted to ask him/her out on a date and didn't.

You finally work up the courage, but the chances of you seeing this person in public to ask face to face is a 1/1000000 chance. Is it then ok to at least ask to hang out or do whatever via Facebook and then ask for an official date in person?

Discuss….Enjoy….Opinions….GO
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:37 PM   #2
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

IMO, "electronic communication" text, email, im whatever leaves out a lot of the "nonverbal" cues that come with normal human interaction, you don't even convey tone like when on a phone call, much less all of the physical cues that are there in person. The flip side is it would seem to make it easier for a person that is socially shy to do something outside of their "comfort zone" because they don't have to actually talk to, or look at the other person.

How old is this person? I have a young coworker whom I don't know if he has ever actually talked to his gf, I would guess they text each other while sitting across the table at dinner for someone like that it's prob cool, someone who still uses a phone/in person at their primary way of communication prob wouldn't like it
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:44 PM   #3
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

I asked a girl out on Facebook. We ended up dating and lived together for over 4 years. Would have got married but it turns out she's f*cking crazy...

Facebook is a great way to meet women. Unlike what johnnyb said, I think nonverbal cues can confuse the situation. Pretty cut and dry when you just ask if they want to grab a drink sometime. Very non-threatening way to ask a girl out. Plus, if that's something that makes you nervous, there's no way for them to pick up on it.

Being honest, I look like a pretty interesting guy on Facebook. Then again, that goes for everybody else; her included.
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:54 PM   #4
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

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Originally Posted by taylorssc View Post
I asked a girl out on Facebook. We ended up dating and lived together for over 4 years. Would have got married but it turns out she's f*cking crazy...

Facebook is a great way to meet women. Unlike what johnnyb said, I think nonverbal cues can confuse the situation. Pretty cut and dry when you just ask if they want to grab a drink sometime. Very non-threatening way to ask a girl out. Plus, if that's something that makes you nervous, there's no way for them to pick up on it.

Being honest, I look like a pretty interesting guy on Facebook. Then again, that goes for everybody else; her included.

Hmm I could but I'm not
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Old 03-20-2014, 04:06 PM   #5
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

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Hmm I could but I'm not
Was hoping people would find the humor in that!
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:55 PM   #6
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

Interesting topic. I think there will be a wide variety of answers/opinions.

I agree that flirting with or hitting on someone via Facebook is weak. In my opinion, that always comes across as creepy and pervey. As for actually asking someone out, I think it's best to do it in person or at least over the phone. If you had no way of contacting them except for Facebook, then there's nothing wrong with that. I would at least send them a private message instead of posting it to their wall because I wouldn't want the whole world knowing my intentions and the possible embarrassment if she declined. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I could ever develop a crush on someone where Facebook was our only option for communication. Doesn't seem like you could get to know them well enough to want to ask them out.

All that said, I did, back in the day, ask a girl out via AOL IM. We were out on Christmas break, didn't have cell phones and I didn't know her home number. I had been drinking at a NYE party (wasn't drunk, but inebriated enough to do this) and started chatting with her after I got home. I decided it would be a good idea to tell her I had a crush on her and asked her out on a date for when we got back to Carolina. She politely declined, things got awkward, and our friendship drifted apart. Luckily enough for me I met the woman that would eventually become my wife about 3 weeks later. And, yes, I did ask her out in person.
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Old 03-20-2014, 04:04 PM   #7
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

Facebook isn't suppose to be a dating site but it has pretty much turned into that..

I don't see a problem with asking a girl out over facebook to get to know them better. Maybe exchange phone numbers first so that you can at least talk to the person first.
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Old 03-20-2014, 04:07 PM   #8
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

There's the flip side of social media as well - going out with someone you would never have a chance to go out with in real life. There's that high school kid in Minnesota who is taking Michelle Beadle to his prom. Then there are the other celebrities and popular people who have said yes (a recent one was a cheerleader for an NFL team). They got asked out or connected via social media. So there's the good side of it too - you get opportunities you wouldn't otherwise have.
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Old 03-20-2014, 04:14 PM   #9
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

Facebook has replaced the chat rooms

No longer do we have to ask a/s/l?
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Old 03-20-2014, 04:17 PM   #10
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

I would never ask a girl on a date via fb, ive been talking to a girl on fb before, stopped and called her to ask her out, when i ask her out i want her to hear the sincerity in my voice when i ask her out.
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Old 03-20-2014, 04:28 PM   #11
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

Tinder is about as easy as it gets... this is what I hear. I have never actually been on tinder due to the fact that I am in a relationship.
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Old 03-20-2014, 06:12 PM   #12
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

If you really like her, message her your # so you can actually have phone conversation, hear each other; texting and conversing through FB or any other social site, much like this one, doesn't convey voice inflextions, as another poster said, this way she can hear how serious you are.
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Old 03-20-2014, 07:56 PM   #13
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

I had a girl email me on FB and we dated for a while. Originally I thought it was a joke since she was smoking hot. But she was legit and it would have turned very serious except she had to move out of the country due to family issues.

But personally, I would never hit on someone on FB.
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Old 03-20-2014, 08:05 PM   #14
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

This is why Tinder exists.
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Old 03-20-2014, 08:06 PM   #15
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

I've met lots of people on FB. Not for dating but I have made friends with a good many people with whom I share interests.
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Old 03-20-2014, 08:27 PM   #16
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

I signed up for Tinder today. Never heard of it until you guys mentioned it. Thanks in advance!
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Old 05-10-2014, 11:55 PM   #17
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

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I signed up for Tinder today. Never heard of it until you guys mentioned it. Thanks in advance!
How about a report?
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Old 05-11-2014, 09:47 AM   #18
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

No NO NO...DO not ask someone out over FB. Grow a sack and do it in person.

What is this world coming to? The younger generations cannot comprehend face to face communication its sad. They just want to hide behind a screen or their phone. Catfishing would not exist if it werent for the internet
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Old 05-11-2014, 12:53 PM   #19
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

Quote:
Originally Posted by TKE226 View Post
No NO NO...DO not ask someone out over FB. Grow a sack and do it in person.

What is this world coming to? The younger generations cannot comprehend face to face communication its sad. They just want to hide behind a screen or their phone. Catfishing would not exist if it werent for the internet
I read a pretty interesting article but can't find it anymore. It looked at this lack of one on one communication and lack of conversation skills as a reason for the rise in officer related shootings especially in young new officers.
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Old 05-11-2014, 01:10 PM   #20
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Default Re: Social Media etiquette discussion time

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I read a pretty interesting article but can't find it anymore. It looked at this lack of one on one communication and lack of conversation skills as a reason for the rise in officer related shootings especially in young new officers.
Very interesting... It does make sense.
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