CockyTalk

Welcome to Cockytalk!

Thank you for visiting our forum. As a guest, you have limited access to view some discussion and articles. By joining our free community, you will be able to view all discussions and articles, post your own topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload photos, participate in Pick'Em contests and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today!!

If you have any problems registering or logging in, please contact our Admins. Thanks!

Go Back   CockyTalk > Community > The Water Cooler

Today's Top 10
Posters (by posts)Threads (by views)Newest Posts Gamecock Headlines 
WeStill0wnUSC
Spurticus
The Yancey
2000grad
GH
donbgamecock
COCKYTALKIN
75CarolinaFan
Rooster'srule
Gamecocks1137
Welcome to Moe's (725)
Jay Paterno Attempts (680)
help with army insig (298)
Hercules - review (297)
I'm a grand godfathe (168)
COCKYTALK ONE HIT WO (95)
NCAA Football 15 (93)
COCKYTALK ONE HIT WO (86)
George Miller revisi (79)
Gamecocks (-10.5) vs (67)
2015 - Mon Denson
Gamecocks (-10.5) vs TxA&
2015 Commitment - Damon A
2015 - Auden Tate
Discussion: 2015 Recruiti
Green and Lammons
Lattimore Sidelined By Le
Welcome to Moe's
Texags
NCAA Football 15


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-04-2014, 02:01 PM   #1
uscgmck
Coming back home, one day
 
uscgmck's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Madison "The City" Mississippi
Posts: 2,633
CockyCash: 100500
uscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot materialuscgmck is USC mascot material
Default The Difference Between Men And Women.

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.
__________________
Remember amateurs built the ark - Professionals built the Titanic.
uscgmck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2014, 03:41 PM   #2
Cockypantherfan
1st Team All-SEC
 
Cockypantherfan's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 3,601
CockyCash: 200
Cockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot material
Default Re: The Difference Between Men And Women.



This made me laugh my ass off.
Cockypantherfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2014, 03:53 PM   #3
markp_vip
Bowl MVP
 
markp_vip's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: St Tammany Parish, La
Posts: 2,113
CockyCash: 6001866
markp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot material
Default Re: The Difference Between Men And Women.

A few years later Fred was on Cockytalk and happened to find this thread and thought, I knew they were gonna screw me on that warranty.
__________________
Recently the difference between Clemson and Carolina has become clear. While Irrational People Talk About Yesterday, The Rational Ones Orchestrate Success Today. So as they desperately cling to their history, we continue to make history day by day.
markp_vip is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:41 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Provided by SLB Development