CockyTalk

Welcome to Cockytalk!

Thank you for visiting our forum. As a guest, you have limited access to view some discussion and articles. By joining our free community, you will be able to view all discussions and articles, post your own topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload photos, participate in Pick'Em contests and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today!!

If you have any problems registering or logging in, please contact our Admins. Thanks!

Go Back   CockyTalk > Other Sports > The Locker Room

Today's Top 10
Posters (by posts)Threads (by views)Newest Posts Gamecock Headlines 
Gamecocks1137
taylorssc
ZenUSC
WeStillOwnUSC
Coulwoodwarlord
Yearofthegamecock
gamecock88
TAFC 5 1981
LeeSC
Regalcock
Kentucky prediction (2089)
Just Booked my Hotel (1397)
Best position coach (803)
Waldrop doubtful for (776)
The New Idea That'll (698)
So What? (692)
We Have A New KO Guy (531)
Serial Cat Killer Ca (426)
So What? (267)
Optimism? Week 1-4 o (266)
Thoughts on the basketbal
2016 - Rozelle Nix
I'm over the loss, but...
RB Recruiting (2015 and 2
QB Recruiting Strategy
What fish do you eat
Best position coach or co
Waldrop doubtful for Kent
2016 - Tavien Feaster
2015 Commitment - Jaire A


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-22-2014, 05:03 PM   #1
Acockolypse Now
L-I-V-I-N
 
Acockolypse Now's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rock Hill, SC
Posts: 14,867
CockyCash: 45000175
Acockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot materialAcockolypse Now is USC mascot material
Default Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

By now you know that the SEC Network has released short teaser videos for each of the teams in the SEC. Some are fantastic, others are not. Each of them attempts to highlight the traditions, flavor, and passion of each member school.

Let's see how they did. We'll start with the SEC West.

SEC WEST

1. Alabama


The video starts with the sonorous voice of Bear Bryant explaining that if everyone does something all together they'd win a national championship or something or other. He neglects to mention that recruiting 256 scholarship athletes so that other teams can't field them against you doesn't hurt, but so what: MOTIVATION. This monologue is set over a montage of normal, everyday people in and about Tuscaloosa going about their normal, everyday lives WHILE WEARING HOUNDSTOOTH. Houndstooth shorts, houndstooth hats, houndstooth bowties, houndstooth umbrellas, even houndstooth dance recital outfits... you get the idea. I think this is supposed to represent how the entire community works together to ensure those Alabama national titles. A better representation of that would have been open wallets, blank checks, and car salesman tossing keys to young football players, but what the hell do I know? The houndstooth is even more mystifying when you realize that Bear mainly wore plaid hats. Trying to figure out Alabama football is like trying to contain the Russian army, you might not understand it, it may seem dysfunctional, but the best thing to do is just get the hell out of its way once it starts towards you.

2. Arkansas


In which a potbellied man in overalls attempts to teach us how to do the 'Pig-Sooie cheer. The only way to make this a bit more stereotypical would be to have Dueling Banjo's playing in the background. Points for showing the inside of the stadium during game day and points for focusing on one of the SEC's most unique cheers. However I've never found this cheer particularly threatening or even annoying. Maybe it's because I love pork barbecue and it makes me hungry. The video also features a tasty looking pig in a cage and various Arkansas fans doing the cheer. Apparently they have an 18 wheeler flatbed truck that drives around the sidelines during game day to direct cheers. What could go wrong with that?

3. Auburn


If I were an Auburn fan I'd be pissed. Auburn has tons of tradition and they have that whole confused 'Tiger' or 'War Eagle' thing going on as well. I mean, I don't even like Auburn but I have to give them props for the whole 'eagle flying-in-at-the-beginning-of-the-game thing', why not show that? No, instead they show shaky footage of a post-win Toomer's Corner that was shot from a passing car. Granted, the amount of toilet paper used is staggering and it must do wonders for the local Walmart's profit margin. However to somebody outside of the SEC this simply looks like a frat party gone horribly, horribly wrong. (Come to think of it... that's not a bad description of Auburn) I'm betting they didn't even film this footage themselves, it looks as if they just Googled 'Auburn Toilet Paper Rolling' and used the first YouTube result they found. For extra clumsiness they tacked on Gordon MacRae singing 'Oh What a Beautiful Day.' My guess is that this was the work of unpaid interns.

4. LSU


I don't really think of hip-hop and LSU together all that often, much less Guru's jazz-laced tribute to lounging. Anyone that's seen an LSU game at night knows that 'laid-back' isn't exactly the vibe. However, in this spot it works as we spend a day lounging in Mike the Tiger's enclosure as the world moves on around it. The game day atmosphere at Death Valley is shown briefly, as is some really bad tiger artwork. None of this really matters however, as the real point of this clip is to show the nation that LSU is crazy enough to keep a real m-f'ing Tiger just because it's cool. Showing how similar the mentality of SEC school's are to that of Russian mafia kingpen's will go a long way into helping the rest of the nation really understand what's going on down here.

5. Ole Miss


Congrats to ESPN for getting this one right. In its spot on Ole Miss we see the Grove in all its glory, tailgating by chandelier, chocolate covered strawberries, pretty girls in nice dresses, frat boys in bowties, and oak covered brick walkways. We see them enormous amount of energy and detail that Ole Miss fans pour into tailgating and socializing prior to an Ole Miss football game. All to the tune of Wilson Pickett's Land Of 1000 Dances. At no point do we see an actual football, football uniform, football field, or even an exterior shot of the football stadium. Well played ESPN, well played.

6. Mississippi State


It's important to show that the SEC is more than just about football. For the SEC West that means they have to figure out what to do with Mississippi State. Although they're not even close to the most successful SEC baseball program MSU has the interesting distinction of not actually finishing their stadium, thereby allowing people in pickup trucks to backup to the left-field wall and watch themselves a free game. Over time this has become an elaborate tradition featuring trucks with built-in bleachers full of cowbell ringing fans. It's a nice story and I don't know what else you'd show for MSU, perhaps the elaborate painting and craft decoration of a ceremonial cowbell?

7. Texas A&M


I'm not alone in thinking that ATM is a little...um...weird. It is possible to have too many traditions... I can just imagine the ESPN producers with a bulletin board full of Post-it notes trying to figure out which bat-shit insane tradition to cover. My guess would've been the midnight cheer practices that their fan base does while the rest of the SEC is out getting drunk, but no they decided instead to tell the moving story of a boy and his dog. Apparently her name is Ms. Reveille, and she's the highest ranking member of the cadets. Honestly I don't know exactly how or when that happened and I'm not really sure I want to. All I know is that everybody seems to be cool with this dude sharing a bed with a collie, looking at her longingly as he grooms her, and taking her to class with him so she can have the shit bored out of her during Fluid Dynamics 403. Later she runs across the field after the team has entered. It's a heartwarming story but they left out the ending where she gets rabies and our hero is forced to put her down by his Pa. 'Gig 'Em' he whispers as he pulls the trigger, his eyes red with tears.

I'll do the SEC East tomorrow...
__________________
Always remember... stay Feisty.
Acockolypse Now is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 05:23 PM   #2
Thenardier
Banned
 
Thenardier's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Carolina
Posts: 2,133
CockyCash: 200
Thenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

FYI, rolling Toomer's corner normally isn't that crazy, but that's footage of the campus post Kick Six.
Thenardier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 07:10 PM   #3
SanAntonioCock
Bowl MVP
 
SanAntonioCock's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 2,230
CockyCash: 225747
SanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thenardier View Post
FYI, rolling Toomer's corner normally isn't that crazy, but that's footage of the campus post Kick Six.
Serious question. Who gets to clean up all that T.P.?
__________________

Never forget the "y" ...and so forth.
SanAntonioCock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 07:13 PM   #4
Thenardier
Banned
 
Thenardier's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Carolina
Posts: 2,133
CockyCash: 200
Thenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot materialThenardier is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
Serious question. Who gets to clean up all that T.P.?
There's a cleaning crew.
Thenardier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 07:15 PM   #5
spareparts
Banned
 
spareparts's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Columbia
Posts: 22,392
CockyCash: 1000509
spareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
Serious question. Who gets to clean up all that T.P.?
Freshmen
spareparts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 12:54 PM   #6
markp_vip
2nd Team All-SEC
 
markp_vip's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: St Tammany Parish, La
Posts: 2,656
CockyCash: 6001866
markp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot materialmarkp_vip is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
Serious question. Who gets to clean up all that T.P.?
Walmart employees re-roll and re-sell.
__________________
Recently the difference between Clemson and Carolina has become clear. While Irrational People Talk About Yesterday, The Rational Ones Orchestrate Success Today. So as they desperately cling to their history, we continue to make history day by day.
markp_vip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 10:24 PM   #7
Cockypantherfan
1st Team All-SEC
 
Cockypantherfan's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 4,278
CockyCash: 200
Cockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thenardier View Post
FYI, rolling Toomer's corner normally isn't that crazy, but that's footage of the campus post Kick Six.
Honestly, no one really cares.
Cockypantherfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 11:10 PM   #8
spareparts
Banned
 
spareparts's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Columbia
Posts: 22,392
CockyCash: 1000509
spareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cockypantherfan View Post
Honestly, no one really cares.
Lmao
spareparts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 11:38 PM   #9
MisterClowney
It's A Revolution
 
MisterClowney's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Right Behind You
Posts: 2,221
CockyCash: 685
MisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot materialMisterClowney is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cockypantherfan View Post
Honestly, no one really cares.
That's putting it nicely.
__________________
MisterClowney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 11:15 PM   #10
G&B
purple nurple
 
G&B's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,323
CockyCash: 520
G&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thenardier View Post
FYI, rolling Toomer's corner normally isn't that crazy, but that's footage of the campus post Kick Six.
Erik, is that you?
__________________
This Sig has been vacated due to early departures to the NFL.
G&B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 05:30 PM   #11
MikeTrainNC8
Cock of the Walk
 
MikeTrainNC8's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Lake Oswego, OR
Posts: 4,653
CockyCash: 66034
MikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot materialMikeTrainNC8 is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by Acockolypse Now View Post
It's a heartwarming story but they left out the ending where she gets rabies and our hero is forced to put her down by his Pa. 'Gig 'Em' he whispers as he pulls the trigger, his eyes red with tears.
May be one of the funniest things I've read on this site.. excellent
__________________
MikeTrainNC8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 06:56 PM   #12
spareparts
Banned
 
spareparts's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Columbia
Posts: 22,392
CockyCash: 1000509
spareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Instant HOF

Also, if they were gonna do Mississippi State baseball, they could have done a feature called "Gameday Eating Habits of Wes Rea". Would have been much more entertaining
spareparts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 07:06 PM   #13
sc455
1st Team All-American
 
sc455's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: south carolina
Posts: 13,592
CockyCash: 23088816
sc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot materialsc455 is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

What a thread
sc455 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 07:10 PM   #14
Truly Cocky
Born & Bred
 
Truly Cocky's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: SC
Posts: 6,602
CockyCash: 50500500
Truly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot materialTruly Cocky is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

This is mind blowing

What a fantastic thread
Truly Cocky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 07:47 PM   #15
CockyCody
Blue Chip
 
CockyCody's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Augusta
Posts: 523
CockyCash: 350
CockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talonsCockyCody has developed his gaff and talons
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Thanks for a great and fun read! Can't wait until tomorrow.
CockyCody is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 10:25 PM   #16
Cockypantherfan
1st Team All-SEC
 
Cockypantherfan's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 4,278
CockyCash: 200
Cockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot materialCockypantherfan is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Also, props to you Acock. Good stuff as always. I got some good laughs out of it.
Cockypantherfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 11:14 PM   #17
G&B
purple nurple
 
G&B's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,323
CockyCash: 520
G&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot materialG&B is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

21 second mark of the miss st video...are they actually grilling a horse penis? holy sh*t...
__________________
This Sig has been vacated due to early departures to the NFL.
G&B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 11:11 PM   #18
trapper82
1st Team All-SEC
 
trapper82's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Florence, SC
Posts: 4,648
CockyCash: 500
trapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot materialtrapper82 is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

I wonder if it ticks Saban off that all these years later he can't even make their video. Its all about the Bear.
__________________
You can't spell EXCUSE without the "CU."
trapper82 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 11:15 PM   #19
spareparts
Banned
 
spareparts's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Columbia
Posts: 22,392
CockyCash: 1000509
spareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot materialspareparts is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

The A&M video is fabulous
spareparts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2014, 11:35 PM   #20
SanAntonioCock
Bowl MVP
 
SanAntonioCock's Avatar
 
Male

Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 2,230
CockyCash: 225747
SanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot materialSanAntonioCock is USC mascot material
Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

I had a high school friend who was in the Corps and he said if that collie decided to sleep in you bed that you had to let it and sleep on the floor. They are a special kind of wierd in College Station.
__________________

Never forget the "y" ...and so forth.
SanAntonioCock is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Provided by SLB Development