I broke my wiener

The Yancey · 12-21-2012, 10:29 PM

Not in half, mind you. More like a stress fracture. Happened back in the spring during some overly acrobatic whoopie. I thought that it was just a little sprain or something. Instead of getting better though it has been getting worse. Was beginning to really hurt a bit during erections. Sooo, they checked it out during this slew of exams I am having at Mayo. Seems that some plaque formed at the injury site. The result is Peyronie's Disease. My wand of delight is turning from a lance into a corkscrew. That should make for some interesting times at the urinal. Guess I'l have to change my line from offering to plumb a babe's depths to asking ii I can pop her cork. There isn't a good treatment option either. They can try to remove some tissue from the other side to help straighten it. That results in shortening of the unit. Yeah, like that is gonna happen. The doc told me that most guys opted out of having a link removed from the chain. Their splints, implants, and other methods. None work all that well. They will have a guy who is a world authority in this to come down from Rochester to take a look. He has developed some sort of laser surgery for it. We'll see. They found some weird diastolic heart failure too but it is mild and I am more concerned with my scepter of power. Getting old ain't for sissies.

CockySpaniel · 12-21-2012, 10:39 PM

Um, condolences?

how is She?

1SCFanInPAUntilNow · 12-21-2012, 10:50 PM

What the hell just happened here.

COCKDIESEL · 12-21-2012, 10:57 PM

Yancey I do believe that if you tell your story to Dos Equis they may replace that guy in the commercials with your stories.

Captain9Dragons · 12-21-2012, 11:03 PM

uscfan1 · 12-21-2012, 11:08 PM

Breakin your wiener is the worst.

TheUSCMike · 12-21-2012, 11:17 PM

Too much information

cocky0 · 12-21-2012, 11:47 PM

Quote:

They will have a guy who is a world authority in this to come down from Rochester to take a look.

So he's a pecker inspector from Rochester? Can't go wrong with that.

COCKDIESEL · 12-21-2012, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cocky0

So he's a pecker inspector from Rochester? Can't go wrong with that.

Points!!!!

spareparts · 12-21-2012, 11:53 PM

There was an old man from Rochester
Whose job it was an inspector
When he arrived at my crib,
He said "what you done did"
That's when I showed him my broke pecker

Luke Skycocker · 12-22-2012, 12:26 AM

I've heard of that condition and it sounds terrible

Next Year · 12-22-2012, 12:33 AM

¡Ay, caramba! - Cabaco

Next Year · 12-22-2012, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Yancey

Not in half, mind you. More like a stress fracture. Happened back in the spring during some overly acrobatic whoopie. I thought that it was just a little sprain or something. Instead of getting better though it has been getting worse. Was beginning to really hurt a bit during erections. Sooo, they checked it out during this slew of exams I am having at Mayo. Seems that some plaque formed at the injury site. The result is Peyronie's Disease. My wand of delight is turning from a lance into a corkscrew. That should make for some interesting times at the urinal. Guess I'l have to change my line from offering to plumb a babe's depths to asking ii I can pop her cork. There isn't a good treatment option either. They can try to remove some tissue from the other side to help straighten it. That results in shortening of the unit. Yeah, like that is gonna happen. The doc told me that most guys opted out of having a link removed from the chain. Their splints, implants, and other methods. None work all that well. They will have a guy who is a world authority in this to come down from Rochester to take a look. He has developed some sort of laser surgery for it. We'll see. They found some weird diastolic heart failure too but it is mild and I am more concerned with my scepter of power. Getting old ain't for sissies.

Sorry, Yance.

Sounds like you got, um, screwed.

Acockolypse Now · 12-22-2012, 04:12 AM

Ouch.

Good luck with that.

MEL · 12-22-2012, 04:39 AM

Ouch. I hope you can get things straightened out.

USCremedy · 12-22-2012, 05:42 AM

Which meds did they prescribe you and did you pop a few before posting this?

P.s. Sorry about your penis.

TheMule · 12-22-2012, 09:39 AM

Gonna have to change your name to Elrod.

chapincock · 12-22-2012, 09:59 AM

I have to be honest, this made me laugh. I too have sustained injuries to the wonder wand. Nothing resulting in....umm, excess bend I guess you'd say, but I have had a bleeder before. Sorry to hear about your wiener.

cockypanther · 12-22-2012, 10:04 AM

Wow, this is kind if a lot to process in the morning after waking up from some glorious dreams. Best wishes for you Yancey. I hope you take the straight and even path, so to speak.

The Yancey · 12-22-2012, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chapincock

I have to be honest, this made me laugh. I too have sustained injuries to the wonder wand. Nothing resulting in....umm, excess bend I guess you'd say, but I have had a bleeder before. Sorry to hear about your wiener.

If you can't find some humor in the bad things in life it can be hard to get through. I'm the one with the weird wiener and I am laughing too. Kinda. Sorta.

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12-21-2012, 10:29 PM	#1
The Yancey Grumpy Old Fart Male Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Sunshinny Florida Posts: 15,771 CockyCash: 4751450	I broke my wiener Not in half, mind you. More like a stress fracture. Happened back in the spring during some overly acrobatic whoopie. I thought that it was just a little sprain or something. Instead of getting better though it has been getting worse. Was beginning to really hurt a bit during erections. Sooo, they checked it out during this slew of exams I am having at Mayo. Seems that some plaque formed at the injury site. The result is Peyronie's Disease. My wand of delight is turning from a lance into a corkscrew. That should make for some interesting times at the urinal. Guess I'l have to change my line from offering to plumb a babe's depths to asking ii I can pop her cork. There isn't a good treatment option either. They can try to remove some tissue from the other side to help straighten it. That results in shortening of the unit. Yeah, like that is gonna happen. The doc told me that most guys opted out of having a link removed from the chain. Their splints, implants, and other methods. None work all that well. They will have a guy who is a world authority in this to come down from Rochester to take a look. He has developed some sort of laser surgery for it. We'll see. They found some weird diastolic heart failure too but it is mild and I am more concerned with my scepter of power. Getting old ain't for sissies. __________________

12-21-2012, 10:39 PM	#2
CockySpaniel 2nd Team All-SEC Male Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Columbia Posts: 3,062 CockyCash: 2009860625	Re: I broke my wiener Um, condolences? how is She? __________________ If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

12-21-2012, 10:50 PM	#3
1SCFanInPAUntilNow Franchise Playa Male Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Chapin SC Posts: 1,689 CockyCash: 9991000	Re: I broke my wiener What the hell just happened here.

12-21-2012, 10:57 PM	#4
COCKDIESEL Voice of Reason Male Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Pine Ridge Posts: 13,397 CockyCash: 52380000	Re: I broke my wiener Yancey I do believe that if you tell your story to Dos Equis they may replace that guy in the commercials with your stories. __________________

12-21-2012, 11:03 PM	#5
Captain9Dragons Forest Grump Male Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Erastus,NC Posts: 8,600 CockyCash: 24891820	Re: I broke my wiener __________________ Last edited by Captain9Dragons; 12-22-2012 at 12:39 AM.

12-21-2012, 11:08 PM	#6
uscfan1 Storyteller Male Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: columbia Posts: 3,860 CockyCash: 200	Re: I broke my wiener Breakin your wiener is the worst.

12-21-2012, 11:17 PM	#7
TheUSCMike Blue Chip Male Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Pine Ridge Posts: 660 CockyCash: 200	Re: I broke my wiener Too much information

12-21-2012, 11:53 PM	#10
spareparts Dont believe the hype Male Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Columbia Posts: 18,393 CockyCash: 1000509	Re: I broke my wiener There was an old man from Rochester Whose job it was an inspector When he arrived at my crib, He said "what you done did" That's when I showed him my broke pecker

12-22-2012, 12:26 AM	#11
Luke Skycocker Doc Skycock Male Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: North Augusta Posts: 41,248 CockyCash: 103198788171	Re: I broke my wiener I've heard of that condition and it sounds terrible __________________

12-22-2012, 12:33 AM	#12
Next Year Synthetica Male Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Gamecock Nation Posts: 2,436 CockyCash: 977700	Re: I broke my wiener *¡Ay, caramba! - Cabaco* __________________ Hang in there!

12-22-2012, 04:12 AM	#14
Acockolypse Now L-I-V-I-N Male Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Rock Hill, SC Posts: 10,926 CockyCash: 45000175	Re: I broke my wiener Ouch. Good luck with that. __________________ Always remember... stay Feisty.

12-22-2012, 04:39 AM	#15
MEL RIP Feisty & C-Girl Female Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: A little town north of Atlanta Posts: 10,242 CockyCash: 3000500	Re: I broke my wiener Ouch. I hope you can get things straightened out.

12-22-2012, 05:42 AM	#16
USCremedy This your bush? Male Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Lake City Posts: 1,156 CockyCash: 2300	Re: I broke my wiener Which meds did they prescribe you and did you pop a few before posting this? P.s. Sorry about your penis. __________________ "and so forth"

12-22-2012, 09:39 AM	#17
TheMule Br Ba Male Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Gaffney, SC Posts: 10,229 CockyCash: 1000200	Re: I broke my wiener Gonna have to change your name to Elrod. __________________ gt Here's to you, Feisty and Spurd&Fthrd.

12-22-2012, 09:59 AM	#18
chapincock 4-Star Male Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: chapin, sc Posts: 366 CockyCash: 250	Re: I broke my wiener I have to be honest, this made me laugh. I too have sustained injuries to the wonder wand. Nothing resulting in....umm, excess bend I guess you'd say, but I have had a bleeder before. Sorry to hear about your wiener.

12-22-2012, 10:04 AM	#19
cockypanther 2nd Team All-SEC Male Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Columbia Posts: 3,049 CockyCash: 356	Re: I broke my wiener Wow, this is kind if a lot to process in the morning after waking up from some glorious dreams. Best wishes for you Yancey. I hope you take the straight and even path, so to speak.

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