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Old 12-28-2012, 08:12 PM   #41
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

I am a family law paralegal. Get an atty & a private investigator ASAP. No longer discuss any of it with her. She can & will use all of it against you. Further confrontation sboutygr adultery will backfire ad she will ''stop it''. Burden of proof of adultery isonyou regardless of what she had ''admitted''
Her attorney will have her admit to nothing. Again...NO FURTHER DISCUSSIONS with her about the situation or plans.
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Old 12-28-2012, 08:36 PM   #42
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Originally Posted by Don Giovanni View Post
An acquaintance of mine had concrete evidence his ex wife was cheating on him (he even got into a fist fight with the guy at one point), but because this acquaintance went ahead with the divorce and he made more money, guess who is paying alimony.
Then he had a terrible attorney. Unless you're talking equitable distribution, which would be a cash payout to the ex but not the same as alimony.
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Old 12-28-2012, 08:38 PM   #43
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Originally Posted by USCBatgirl21 View Post
I am a family law paralegal. Get an atty & a private investigator ASAP. No longer discuss any of it with her. She can & will use all of it against you. Further confrontation sboutygr adultery will backfire ad she will ''stop it''. Burden of proof of adultery isonyou regardless of what she had ''admitted''
Her attorney will have her admit to nothing. Again...NO FURTHER DISCUSSIONS with her about the situation or plans.
Just curious...why should be get a PI since SC is a no fault state? Because of alimony?
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Old 12-28-2012, 08:48 PM   #44
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Originally Posted by usc90grad View Post
Then he had a terrible attorney. Unless you're talking equitable distribution, which would be a cash payout to the ex but not the same as alimony.
It's entirely possible it was simply a case of having bad legal representation (if he had any at all), but I know for sure he's paying alimony. Or at least he was the last time I saw him. Here's my thinking: since he had concrete proof of the infidelity, shouldn't all he would've had to do is have the evidence presented and the judge takes care of the rest?
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Old 12-28-2012, 09:28 PM   #45
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Originally Posted by usc90grad View Post
Just curious...why should be get a PI since SC is a no fault state? Because of alimony?
If he wants to prove adultery, he needs independent third party proof.
SC does grant divorces based on adultery, abuse, habitual alcohol/drug use, etc. if raised in the initial or amended pleadings (technically "at fault" divorces that usually don't require the one year "waiting" period), and yes adultery 9 times out of 10 negates alimony, but does not negate child support.

"No Fault" divorces are usually those that are non contested, ie an agreement is reached prior to filing, are based on one year separation, and neither party claims one of the above in their Pleadings.

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Old 12-28-2012, 09:36 PM   #46
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Originally Posted by Don Giovanni View Post
It's entirely possible it was simply a case of having bad legal representation (if he had any at all), but I know for sure he's paying alimony. Or at least he was the last time I saw him. Here's my thinking: since he had concrete proof of the infidelity, shouldn't all he would've had to do is have the evidence presented and the judge takes care of the rest?
Not if he did not ask for a divorce based on adultery in his initial pleadings. The judge cannot rule on something not in the pleadings before him. This is true in any case, civil or domestic.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:09 AM   #47
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

I am sorry you're having to go thru this, especially since you have kids with her. I've been there and done that. I agree with everybody that said you need to get advice from an attorney and it would be good if you had solid proof of the affair. I live in Georgia and our laws may be different here, but my best friend's brother was cheated on by his wife and she was able to get alimony and 50% of the property. Good luck with everything.
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Old 12-29-2012, 09:26 AM   #48
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

Been through it. GET A LAWYER! Get to the court house first and file. Get your finances separated and get ready to fight. She may be sorry but when the accusations start flying, that's when the sh#t hits the fan and the nails come out. GET A LAWYER!
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:38 AM   #49
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

My sister used to be a family law attorney. Yes, get an attorney now and hire a PI. When you walk into court, have everything ready...all the evidence. IMO, the marriage is not salvageable from you described. And keep your nose clean. If she is skirting around, don't be dating or having members of the opposite sex at your place unless they are family. Two hours behind cosed doors can constitute possible sexual relations in the eyes of the law. I might be mistaken about that time frame, but still, keep your nose clean
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Old 12-29-2012, 11:20 AM   #50
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

^ Good advice on not dating. I think in SC, if you date while separated, that's also adultery. That used to be the law in NC too, but they changed it a few years ago so now you can date while separated. SC is old school and I like that.
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:16 PM   #51
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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How long were you all married before getting divorced?

Just curious.

7 years.
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Old 12-30-2012, 09:24 PM   #52
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

As far as proof, I've got recorded conversations of me and her where she admits to having sex, and pictures from her phone of them kissing.
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Old 12-30-2012, 09:44 PM   #53
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Originally Posted by sparklecityspur View Post
As far as proof, I've got recorded conversations of me and her where she admits to having sex, and pictures from her phone of them kissing.
Unless she knew she was being recorded you could go to jail. Happened down here. PLEASE, just hire a attorney.
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:00 PM   #54
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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^ Good advice on not dating. I think in SC, if you date while separated, that's also adultery. That used to be the law in NC too, but they changed it a few years ago so now you can date while separated. SC is old school and I like that.
Dating or sex is a no-no? Friend of mine was going through and said he just can't let her prove he had sex with someone else while the legal mess was on.

Hate it for you man. If it was me and I know it's probably not that simple...but I would get it done and over with as quickly as possible. They have divorces that can be done in a few months time, correct?
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:36 PM   #55
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Dating or sex is a no-no? Friend of mine was going through and said he just can't let her prove he had sex with someone else while the legal mess was on.
Intent and opportunity is all that is needed in SC.
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:37 PM   #56
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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As far as proof, I've got recorded conversations of me and her where she admits to having sex, and pictures from her phone of them kissing.
That is not proof if she was unaware of the recordings, and not obtained by a Subpoena or independendent third party, ie a PI.

Get an Attorney and a PI, if you want to pursue adultery.
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:59 AM   #57
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

I work for an independent insurance agent and her husband is a PI. He investigates mostly work comp claims, but has done some personal work. Apparently it does hold up in court if you have solid proof.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:48 AM   #58
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Unless she knew she was being recorded you could go to jail. Happened down here. PLEASE, just hire a attorney.
I'm pretty sure in SC, only one party has to be aware the conversation is being recorded. So if it was him and his wife, he's fine. But if it was his wife and her BF, then that's illegal.

Again an affair only matters when it comes to alimony since SC is a no-fault state. The best he's going to get is 50% custody and 50% of their martial property...unless his wife agrees to less. That's the part that sucks when it comes to a spouse cheating.
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:20 AM   #59
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

Sorry you're having to go through this. I have respect for you that you are willing to work things out. You need to think seriously about how you will feel in the future, if things get worked out.

Can you trust her? Will she do it again? You will have to figure that out. Stay strong!
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:22 AM   #60
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Default Re: Anyone here ever went through a separation or divorce?

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Originally Posted by USCBatgirl21 View Post
Intent and opportunity is all that is needed in SC.
It's actually called inclination, if I am not mistaken
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