What's the Biggest Lie You Have Ever Told - And Gotten Away With

[b381l]

Actually, I don't ever remember telling a lie. I just wanted to see some of the things you've said. You know, they say confession is good for you, so now's your chance to feel better about yourself.

[2000grad]

I didn't do my homework and constantly said that I did.

[Sir Cuss]

"How are you doing?"

"Good"

[ColaCock]

I'll bite.

Whenever I was around 8-9 years old, my parents left us with a babysitter that I absolutely despised. She was mean by nature and would work you to death while the parents were gone while her boyfriend came over and they just ate all of our food and watched our TV.

I wanted her gone. I devised a plan that, looking back, was pretty twisted but it eventually worked. While washing dishes, I grabbed a steak knife (no, I didn't kill her) and the ketchup from the fridge...lathered it up a bit. I then went outside and placed it in the yard towards the rear of the house.

When it was time to play outside, I "found" the knife. She freaked out and called her parents and my parents. She thought a killer was on the loose.

Never saw her again. Winning!

[Acockolypse Now]

I'm not really Lennay Kekua.

[M.C.]

Girlfriend "what did you do last night?"

Me "Stayed Home"

[Next Year]

Caller: "Sorry for calling you so late. Did I wake you up?"

Me: "No"

It is the biggest lie because it is the most unnecessary lie I have ever told.

I have done it more than once and I know I will probably do it again.

I guess my immediate reason for saying "no" is that I do not want the person on the other end of the line to feel like they are imposing.

However, I could just as easily say, "Yes I was sleep but I don't mind."

Oh, I also lied about being on the baseball team to a girl I was trying to pick up back in college when I lived in the roost. I don't count that as the biggest lie I ever told because the next morning I told her I was not actually a player and she said "I knew that but I liked you anyway." or something to that effect.

[cockymac]

Too many to choose from for me.

[catdaddy66]

I found my dad's porn collection one day when I was 12. Was snooping around in his room, but I left something out of place and he grilled me!

"Were you in my room and what did you find?!"

"No I wasn't!! I swear I wasn't!"

Don't think he believed me but he let me live.

[FlorenceCock]

When I was about 8 or 9 I was at baptist summer camp and we had this counselor in my bunk who was the biggest ass hole on the face of the planet. He was always just being a dick to every one of the kids in the bunk house and never letting us do the available activities and would steal our stuff. He even called this one kid the N word that was adopted from Africa after he saw his whole family murdered in front of him. Well we got to go to a movie one day and this one kid found a bottle of Jack that only had like 1/8th left in it and a partially packed carton of cigarettes by the trash can where the bus was parked. We took them and brought them back to the bunk house and stashed them into the counselors stuff and then went to the head guy at camp and told him that he was drunk last night and forced us to drink and smoke to. The head guy who I think was a preacher then went into the bunk and found the stuff we had hidden and called the cops and the guy got arrested and carted off the jail. He was screaming he didn't do it with tears in his eyes and they had to drag him to the squad car in hand cuffs. The thing is though even though that probably ruined this guys life I still to this day do not feel bad about it.

[FloydTheBarber]

Originally Posted by b381l

Actually, I don't ever remember telling a lie. I just wanted to see some of the things you've said. You know, they say confession is good for you, so now's your chance to feel better about yourself.

I once made a wager, and when confronted by others that there was no way I'd honor my wager if I lost, I swore I would. Then, I went back on that, making my previous insistence a lie.







Oh, wait...that wasn't me. It was someone else.

[trapper82]

Told some girl that plasma tv's had plasma from human blood in them, and that is why you get paid to donate it and why they were so expensive.

[nicstockman]

Told my wife (we were dating at the time) that I found out the Charleston International Airport had a secret underground facility that was ran by the CIA. Told her that was why they called it the Charleston INTERNATIONAL Airport even though they didn't have any direct international flights. They just needed the letters to be CIA. For some reason she totally bought it. And for some reason she married me anyway.

[TKE226]

its not a lie if you believe it - George Costanza

[upstatescw]

I'm not really a 'Jorts extraordinaire'

[OLDCHARLESTONIAN]

Originally Posted by nicstockman

Told my wife (we were dating at the time) that I found out the Charleston International Airport had a secret underground facility that was ran by the CIA. Told her that was why they called it the Charleston INTERNATIONAL Airport even though they didn't have any direct international flights. They just needed the letters to be CIA. For some reason she totally bought it. And for some reason she married me anyway.

That's not a lie...

[cock13]

"I love you too"

[Sonofacock]

That dress doesn't make you look fat

[cockyness11]

Not one of my proudest moments, but I once got a girl to come back to the hotel with me, by telling her I was Stephen Garcia and that I would love too see if she could handle how deep I could sling it!!! haha Good Times....

[cock13]

"That's just a zit, nothing more"