Why Athletes can't have regular jobs

[KC85]

WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS:
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ..."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Gol ota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."

Not sure where this came from but it is hilarious.

[behindenemylines]

Don't froget this gem:

Reporter: Elden, did you earn a degree from Clemson?

Elden Campbell: No, but they gave me one anyway.

[Spur's Addiction]

"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

lol

[KC85]

My favorite.

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

[Gamecock Rob]

"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did."-Yogi Berra

[ACPhilson]

This thread has all sorts of wins.

[JohnnyB21]

I lol'd at the one about Mike Tyson. Lol

[SirBigSpur]

My favorite

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

[I Bleed Garnet]

Ernie Johnson: "Did you graduate from Auburn?"
Charles Barkley: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."

[2000grad]

"The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.”—Baseball player Mike Cameron

[2000grad]

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."—Pitcher Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.

[2000grad]

Shaquille O'Neal: "I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak."