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Old 02-18-2014, 03:21 PM   #1
1st Team All-SEC
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Lexington
Posts: 4,535
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Default A (fictional) list of rule changes....... likely to pass as proposed 10-second substitution

• Decrease the play clock to 30 seconds after telling teams they can’t snap the ball until the 29-second mark, just to mess with coaches

• Eliminate the play clock, allowing teams to use a four corners strategy for football

• Get rid of extra points

• Get rid of field goals

• Get rid of kickers in general

•Let players celebrate more, because, hey, they’re not getting paid to do this

• As in Quidditch, designate one player on each team as the Golden Snitch. If the other team finds him and tackles him, the game ends

• Make the coin toss more about skill than luck

• Replace all footballs with Nerf® Vortex Howlers

• Put nicknames on the backs of jerseys, because this was actually a great idea when it was tried by the XFL

• At halftime, have both teams open presents and play games and light candles together, like the Christmas truce during World War I

• Retire kickoffs since there is actually more evidence that kickoffs are an injury risk than up-tempo offenses

• Install a freestyle round

• Go 500 style, with quarterbacks calling out how many points each pass is worth if a receiver catches it and scores

• Experiment with the idea of playing football in a pool, or find a way to make Blitzball from Final Fantasy X a reality

• Play some games on aircraft carriers, like in college basketball

• Get more dancing involved somehow

• Incorporate elements from that weird Italian game that looks cool as heck

Bring back leather helmets or get rid of helmets entirely

•Put tackling dummies and moats and trap doors and stuff on the field

• Eliminate the age requirement for the NFL draft

• Involve the mascots more

• Holograms — I don’t know, just go with it

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