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Old 04-01-2014, 07:59 AM   #1
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Default Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Press Release - Monday, March 31, 2014 – 5 O’Cock PM

Clemson, SC - Clemson Athletic Director Dan Radakovich held his weekly meeting with the media and announced that he fully understands all the fan frustration with mounting losses and losing streaks to the University of South Carolina. “The Gamecocks have had our number and whipped our butts. We are all very tired of it and that ends today!”

DRad stated the Jacksonville State Gamecocks would be added to all future schedules across every sport. “We will kick these Gamecock teams’ tails, I guarantee it! Additionally, we are all excited about getting to visit the Florida beaches and that’s why I insisted all series be on a home and home arrangement, we will play at Jacksonville State this year on November 22.”

SID Tim Boreu stated that this will be the first time for Clemson to play Gamecocks in back-to-back weeks since Bruce Ellington beat the Tigers in football and basketball in 2011.

Also present at this afternoon’s press conference were Head Football Coach Dabo Swinney and Jack Leggett, HoF Baseball Coach. Dabo said, “I applaud Dan for thinking outside the box to solve the unsolvable, console the inconsolable and think the unthinkable.” Leggett asked if he still had to face the real Gamecocks and his jaw tightened even more when told indeed he would.

Dave Hoodie, PS Pro-fit contributed to this story.
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Old 04-01-2014, 08:04 AM   #2
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustAskin View Post
Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Press Release - Monday, March 31, 2014 – 5 O’Cock PM

Clemson, SC - Clemson Athletic Director Dan Radakovich held his weekly meeting with the media and announced that he fully understands all the fan frustration with mounting losses and losing streaks to the University of South Carolina. “The Gamecocks have had our number and whipped our butts. We are all very tired of it and that ends today!”

DRad stated the Jacksonville State Gamecocks would be added to all future schedules across every sport. “We will kick these Gamecock teams’ tails, I guarantee it! Additionally, we are all excited about getting to visit the Florida beaches and that’s why I insisted all series be on a home and home arrangement, we will play at Jacksonville State this year on November 22.”

SID Tim Boreu stated that this will be the first time for Clemson to play Gamecocks in back-to-back weeks since Bruce Ellington beat the Tigers in football and basketball in 2011.

Also present at this afternoon’s press conference were Head Football Coach Dabo Swinney and Jack Leggett, HoF Baseball Coach. Dabo said, “I applaud Dan for thinking outside the box to solve the unsolvable, console the inconsolable and think the unthinkable.” Leggett asked if he still had to face the real Gamecocks and his jaw tightened even more when told indeed he would.

Dave Hoodie, PS Pro-fit contributed to this story.
Nice. I especially like the "5 O'Cock PM" post time. Though, with the way their baseball team has been playing in mid-week games this year, I'm not sure this would guarantee anything for them.
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Old 04-01-2014, 08:28 AM   #3
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Guess this was so important it couldn't wait for the following day


Additional nice touch is that Jacksonville State is actually in northern Alabama

EDIT: But I'm sure most of y'all knew that already
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Last edited by JerseyBird; 04-01-2014 at 09:13 AM.
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Old 04-01-2014, 09:06 AM   #4
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

JSU, go cocks!!!

Be careful with them though. They did beat Ole Miss and cost Houston Nutt his job
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Old 04-01-2014, 09:12 AM   #5
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

And remember, it's only unwinnable if you don't win it
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Take one star crunch. Then take lots of peanut butter and layer it THICK on the flat side. After that slam another star crunch on top of the peanut butter. Finally, slap yo momma. For those of you trying to "watch what you eat" don't add the second star crunch. This is the diet version-etowngangsta
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:14 AM   #6
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

I hear they also plan to schedule Sumter
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

ehhh, he's guaranteed other things that never turned out to be true.


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Old 04-01-2014, 10:51 AM   #8
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

I took this to be a slightly early April Fool's joke.
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Old 04-01-2014, 11:10 AM   #9
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Quote:
Originally Posted by JerseyBird View Post
Additional nice touch is that Jacksonville State is actually in northern Alabama
Yeah, got a chuckle out of that myself.
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Old 04-01-2014, 12:34 PM   #10
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

I thought the state legislature made them play us. How can they change their schedule at short notice? I'm not at all sure this is true. Do you have a link?
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Old 04-01-2014, 01:03 PM   #11
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

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Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
I thought the state legislature made them play us. How can they change their schedule at short notice? I'm not at all sure this is true. Do you have a link?
NSIS
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Old 04-01-2014, 01:32 PM   #12
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

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Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
I thought the state legislature made them play us. How can they change their schedule at short notice? I'm not at all sure this is true. Do you have a link?
It's on teh intraweb so of course it's true
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Old 04-01-2014, 01:44 PM   #13
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
I thought the state legislature made them play us. How can they change their schedule at short notice? I'm not at all sure this is true. Do you have a link?
Here you go.

https://www.google.com/#q=happy+april+fools+day
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Old 04-01-2014, 02:58 PM   #14
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Yesterday I watched the SC Senate honor Coach. One Clemson Senator said something to the effect that he was positive that Clemson would beat the Gamecocks ... as soon as Coach Spurrier retires.

http://www.gamecocksonline.com/allaccess/?media=442615
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Old 04-01-2014, 05:07 PM   #15
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Would he bet his job on it?
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Old 04-01-2014, 06:34 PM   #16
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

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Originally Posted by taylorssc View Post
ehhh, he's guaranteed other things that never turned out to be true.


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Old 04-01-2014, 09:49 PM   #17
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Default a few clues to the prank

April Fool's prank: 5 O'Cock, Tim Bore U, the beach comment, Dabo's comment, Leggett's jaw can't get any tighter :-D

Of course, they need to find any Gamecock they can beat!



Quote:
Originally Posted by JustAskin View Post
Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

Press Release - Monday, March 31, 2014 – 5 O’Cock PM

Clemson, SC - Clemson Athletic Director Dan Radakovich held his weekly meeting with the media and announced that he fully understands all the fan frustration with mounting losses and losing streaks to the University of South Carolina. “The Gamecocks have had our number and whipped our butts. We are all very tired of it and that ends today!”

DRad stated the Jacksonville State Gamecocks would be added to all future schedules across every sport. “We will kick these Gamecock teams’ tails, I guarantee it! Additionally, we are all excited about getting to visit the Florida beaches and that’s why I insisted all series be on a home and home arrangement, we will play at Jacksonville State this year on November 22.”

SID Tim Boreu stated that this will be the first time for Clemson to play Gamecocks in back-to-back weeks since Bruce Ellington beat the Tigers in football and basketball in 2011.

Also present at this afternoon’s press conference were Head Football Coach Dabo Swinney and Jack Leggett, HoF Baseball Coach. Dabo said, “I applaud Dan for thinking outside the box to solve the unsolvable, console the inconsolable and think the unthinkable.” Leggett asked if he still had to face the real Gamecocks and his jaw tightened even more when told indeed he would.

Dave Hoodie, PS Pro-fit contributed to this story.
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:21 PM   #18
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

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Originally Posted by SanAntonioCock View Post
I thought the state legislature made them play us. How can they change their schedule at short notice? I'm not at all sure this is true. Do you have a link?

I almost bit and said "dude, seriously?"...then I realized this was nothing more than a baited trap, a double secret probation april fool's double whammy trap, laid cleverly in waiting.

well played
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Old 04-02-2014, 03:47 AM   #19
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

haha
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:01 AM   #20
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Default Re: Clemson AD Guarantees Victories over Gamecocks

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I thought the state legislature made them play us. How can they change their schedule at short notice? I'm not at all sure this is true. Do you have a link?
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