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Old 04-23-2014, 10:11 AM   #21
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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Originally Posted by Ericvol2096 View Post
My West Rankings
1. Bama
2. Auburn
3. LSU
4. Ark
5. Ole Miss
6. A&M
7. Miss St.

My East rankings.

1. Georgia
2. TN
3. SC
4. Mizz
5. FL
6. KY
7. Vandy
Eric, have you been drinking again?
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Old 04-23-2014, 10:18 AM   #22
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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Eric, have you been drinking again?
Not recently! Why?
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Old 04-23-2014, 01:17 PM   #23
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

SEC EAST

1. Florida


Much like the Arkansas video, we're treated with a clip of how to do Florida's iconic Gator-chomp cheer. Two ex-band members are shown from the waist up, so we can only assume they were wearing jorts. For some reason they suggest that the chant is hard to do, which actually gives me reason to question the average Florida fan's intelligence. Points for showing part of the game-day experience, but they missed out on an opportunity to film by far the craziest thing I've ever seen at an SEC game. Prior to the game I've watched tailgaters set up tents next to small ponds and allow their kids to hand-feed actual live alligators that seem recognize an opportunity when they see it. It's not often I cheer for the Gators, but...

2. Georgia


Everything is better with Larry Munson. Rather than showing yet another crowd of drunk, khaki-short wearing frat boys, ESPN opts to go the tradition route by showing Herschel Walker's first-ever run as a Bulldog. He man-cakes Bill Bates on his way to the end zone and Munson provides his signature 'holy crap' announcing style over the top of it. Even if you're not a Georgia fan it's hard not to get a little pumped up watching it. However in a sly way ESPN has shown us everything that's wrong with current Georgia fans. "He reminds me of Herschel" has become so much of a mantra that I hardly notice it when Georgia fans say it. Meanwhile the rest of America vaguely remembers Herschel as that backup running back for the Dallas Cowboys.

3. Kentucky


Well of course they showed basketball. After all the SEC isn't just about football, and Kentucky's got eight national titles in basketball to prove it. While basketball is the obvious choice here, the footage they used for the clip is a curious choice. Rather than show any other epic basketball games, or game day experience they opt to show the beginning of a midnight madness practice. It's pretty cool, as they use a full-court projection to transform the court into a giant video board. However, I've seen the same thing at Disney and they did it to a whole damn castle. For the most part though the video is dark and devoid of any passion...in other words; fairly accurate.

4. Missouri



Oh great, another cheer video. Here we're treated to Missouri's 'MIZ-ZOU' call and repeat cheer that proves that 'Missouri' is too damn hard to spell. The video starts off with a group of probably-not-gay guys singing barbershop quartet style and then segues into various other types of people picking up the cheer. We have dance girls, lesbian rugby players, small children, white people using public transportation, and some weird old flatbed truck driving through a neighborhood and yelling at people. Still, like most of Missouri, it's fairly unoffensive. It's actually kind of hard to really dislike Mizzou. It's like not liking toast.

5. South Carolina


Like most internet porn, this clip spends little time establishing the plot. There's a brief shot at the beginning of stadium personnel placing Cocky-Cloths on the bleachers but after that it's pure mayhem. Williams-Brice is shown in all its garnet-clad, towel waving, USC chanting, lung-busting glory. Obviously as a South Carolina fan I'm biased, but I think this video does the best job of showing the insane passion that SEC fans have. Sure there are other things they could have focused on for us such as our national power baseball program or the Horseshoe, but nothing really capture us as well as Williams–Brice at night. Good job making sure you got the "Cocks" sign in there ESPN, well played.

6. Tennessee


Oh God, where to start with this one? Rather than showing something interesting like the Tennessee Navy or the architectural mess that is Neyland Stadium they chose to focus on a young food-stamp Mom singing her son to sleep in their trailer to the tune of 'Rocky Top.' The only thing that makes any sense to me is that maybe ESPN did this one last. I could see them starting pre-production and realizing they'd blown their remaining budget on cocaine and hookers, so they'd have to improvise. Rather than do any location shooting they just decided to slap a UT onesie on a kid, find a hick mom, and teach her how to sing Rocky Top with just the right amount of twang. Horrible.

7. Vanderbilt


I'm going to try and be nice here because, come on, what exactly are you going to show for Vanderbilt, an Asian grad student running an electron microscope? ESPN went for something only slightly more exciting as they focused on Vandy's freaky-deaky basketball gym. Vandy's head usher gives a tour of the quirky floor layout to the strains of Pilot's Magic. He points out the raised floor, how students sit below floor level next to the court, and how the benches are actually at the ends of the court rather than the traditional side. All of this leads to one inescapable conclusion: no one at Vandy understands sports at all. The ending of the clip sums it up best: "This is where the magic happens," their guy intones in a flat, lifeless voice arms raised above his head. As he lowers his hands awkwardly the camera pans back, revealing an empty and silent gym.


____________________________________

Thanks for all the comments, I should point out that I'm not actually ranking these videos just reviewing them. You'll note for example that all of them are in alphabetical order.

SEC, SEC, SEC, SEC, SEC, SEC, SEC, SEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-23-2014, 01:25 PM   #24
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Bless you Acock, for all of these.
Points!
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Old 04-23-2014, 01:29 PM   #25
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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Originally Posted by Ericvol2096 View Post
Not recently! Why?
Those rankings you list lead me to believe otherwise!

You really enjoyed TN's video? It's a mom singing a lullaby..
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Old 04-23-2014, 04:15 PM   #26
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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Originally Posted by Acockolypse Now View Post
because, come on, what exactly are you going to show for Vanderbilt, an Asian grad student running an electron microscope?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Acockolypse Now View Post
they chose to focus on a young food-stamp Mom singing her son to sleep in their trailer to the tune of 'Rocky Top.'
Oh Ggggoodd that is awesome
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:02 PM   #27
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ericvol2096 View Post
My West Rankings
1. Bama
2. Auburn
3. LSU
4. Ark
5. Ole Miss
6. A&M
7. Miss St.

My East rankings.

1. Georgia
2. TN
3. SC
4. Mizz
5. FL
6. KY
7. Vandy
No way TN is second. That singing isn't even great.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:30 PM   #28
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Vanderbilt students don't like sports.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:49 PM   #29
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

I liked all of them except Vandy and Mizzou's. USC and LSU's are the best. Ours would have been better without the half empty upper deck overhead shot.
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Old 04-23-2014, 10:23 PM   #30
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

You cant hide MSU...they did a great job of showing what MSU really is...
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Old 04-24-2014, 10:53 AM   #31
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Quote:
Oh God, where to start with this one? Rather than showing something interesting like the Tennessee Navy or the architectural mess that is Neyland Stadium they chose to focus on a young food-stamp Mom singing her son to sleep in their trailer to the tune of 'Rocky Top.' The only thing that makes any sense to me is that maybe ESPN did this one last. I could see them starting pre-production and realizing they'd blown their remaining budget on cocaine and hookers, so they'd have to improvise. Rather than do any location shooting they just decided to slap a UT onesie on a kid, find a hick mom, and teach her how to sing Rocky Top with just the right amount of twang. Horrible.
That woman was an ex TN cheerleader and now wife of an ex TN linebacker Nick Reviez. That little baby will be a future TN VOL!

SBNation ranked them and had TN's 3rd overall so I guess yall just don't like the sentimental side of growing up an SEC fan.
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Old 04-24-2014, 12:01 PM   #32
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

I stand by my writing. That spot was horrible.
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Old 04-24-2014, 12:12 PM   #33
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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That woman was an ex TN cheerleader and now wife of an ex TN linebacker Nick Reviez. That little baby will be a future TN VOL!

SBNation ranked them and had TN's 3rd overall so I guess yall just don't like the sentimental side of growing up an SEC fan.
Compared to the others, it stood out. The song seemed to drag on for awhile. It would've made a good contrasting ending after showing a crazy UT fanbase on gameday, but not for a whole spot. The "woo" was painful, simply because it was one person singing and not exactly a lullaby...the baby did seem to be waking up at the end.

It offends me more as a parent. WTF was she doing? I don't play 2001 to my kid before laying them down...must be their first kid since that mom obviously has yet to learn the value of sleep.
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Old 04-24-2014, 12:23 PM   #34
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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Compared to the others, it stood out. The song seemed to drag on for awhile. It would've made a good contrasting ending after showing a crazy UT fanbase on gameday, but not for a whole spot. The "woo" was painful, simply because it was one person singing and not exactly a lullaby...the baby did seem to be waking up at the end.

It offends me more as a parent. WTF was she doing? I don't play 2001 to my kid before laying them down...must be their first kid since that mom obviously has yet to learn the value of sleep.
I think I've sung rocky top to my daughter before...but you may be right, never in a lullaby setting.
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Old 04-25-2014, 12:40 PM   #35
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

If I didn't like you Eric, I could blow that last statement up. I mean, that's an underhand softball pitch.

Very hard to resist...
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Old 04-25-2014, 12:54 PM   #36
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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Serious question. Who gets to clean up all that T.P.?
Walmart employees re-roll and re-sell.
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Old 08-11-2014, 01:56 PM   #37
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

This is beauty and needed a bump.
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Old 08-11-2014, 02:14 PM   #38
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

Dam straight
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Old 08-11-2014, 02:52 PM   #39
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

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This is beauty and needed a bump.
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Dam straight
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Originally Posted by Ericvol2096 View Post
That woman was an ex TN cheerleader and now wife of an ex TN linebacker Nick Reviez. That little baby will be a future TN VOL!

SBNation ranked them and had TN's 3rd overall so I guess yall just don't like the sentimental side of growing up an SEC fan.
Thanks for the bump, didn't see this earlier so here's my two cent on the thread:

Eric, thanks for clearing up my misconception of that young lady's ties to ut, I am ashamed to say I was thinking she was part of the recruiting budget.
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Old 08-11-2014, 03:08 PM   #40
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Default Re: Acock reviews the SEC Network promo videos

ACock, I think we agree. Ole Miss spot on, ours too and A&M. The rest not so much. Now someone with talent should make a Clemson parody, please.
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