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Old 06-05-2014, 08:55 AM   #1
Cock Kool-Aid
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Default Worst Interstate Drivers

I spend a lot of time commuting on the interstate and it is a substantial source of annoyance for me. I've decided to write down some of the worst types of interstate drivers that I experience regularly. Please feel free to contribute, comment, add the types you hate, etc. These are in no particular order.

1. "The Pointless Passer"- This is probably the most volatile and dangerous of interstate drivers. It does not appear that they have any concept of the speed limit, or how fast they are even travelling... All they know is that they have to be going faster than you... and everyone else. This individual is known for flying up out of nowhere and passing you in any lane available, regardless of the fact that they are probably risking their life, your life, and the lives of the handful of drivers in your immediate vicinity. This is the person who will, on an interstate packed with backed up traffic during rush hour, pass you in the right lane and then violently shove their vehicle into the 1/2 car length space between you and the vehicle in front of you. They are also known for their antics in areas where the interstate is merging from 3 lanes to 2- yes we all know that guy... the one who floors it and passes everyone in the lane that is soon to end and then sandwiches himself in that 1/2 car length again at a speed of 95 mph. Usually you end up seeing this vehicle later when you inevitably catch up with them, because they are too stupid to realize that they aren't getting anywhere any faster than the people who are driving safely and in accordance to generally accepted interstate etiquette. This person possesses the following traits: Poor critical thinking/mathematical skills, lack of common courtesy, and a small penis. This person clearly does not understand that driving a massive chunk of metal at excessive speeds has potentially serious dangers associated with it. This person should be euthanized.

2. The constant speed driver- This is the individual whom I will never understand. They do not adjust their speed for changes in speed limit. This is the guy who is going 75 in the left lane in a 70 mph zone... Not terrible, but come on, guy... you need to be going about 10 mph over the speed limit in that lane and you need to get out of the way when someone is behind you trying to go faster than you. Obviously, you pass this person so you can go 80 in a 70 like a normal person should. Here's the problem. Once the interstate widens to 3 lanes and the speed limit drops to 60 mph.... This is the guy who comes up behind you, riding your ass at 75 mph still. WTF, bro? Are you a slow driver or a fast one? Neither. You're oblivious to speed limits. You just kind of exist.

3. The slow guy in the left lane- Similar to the last driver... this driver is oblivious to those around them. This driver rivals the pointless passer in lack of common courtesy or concern for others... just in a less immediately life-threatening way. This is the person who drives exactly the speedlimit in the left lane and manages to keep pace with the 18 wheeler in the right lane for the better part of 20 miles. I assume this person is completely oblivious to the fact that there are literally 127 cars directly behind them screaming, flipping them off, honking their horn, and wishing them an immediate death that forces them to veer off the road and hit a tree. Atleast I hope they are oblivious, or else they are the possibly the biggest assholes in the history of Earth.

Feel free to add more... I know they exist... I just don't feel like typing anymore.
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