For Anyone Trying to Make Sense Out of the Kenny McKinley Tragedy

[Harris7x]

If your like me your stunned, shocked, and utterly speechless when it comes to this terrible day. My eyes continue watering up just thinking about this young man. I cannot sleep, I cannot think of anything else...I just need to know WHY? You were the best of us! Why? Why?
I just cannot understand it. I cannot make any sense out of it. I am heartbroken...I can only speculate and I hope you all will take this post with upmost respect, and if an admin finds it unneccasary please delete.

He was, for the majority of us, our favorite player to ever adorn the Garnet and Black. He provided us with so many memories, that we will never forget. He was the epitome of a leader for our team both on and off the feild. He was our ideal player. And maybe in some form...this could have upset our most beloved Gamecock.
He was at USC for all 4 years. He loved USC. It must have broken his heart to hear 2001 and watch everyone else run out on the feild. USC is experiencing success without him and he is injured and unable to play at the moment in the NFL. He was our star player. He is the mold to which we compare all of our WRs. Sidney Rice had an amazing season last year in the Pros and Kenny has had bad luck. Kenny has to travel so very far from home, so very far from Gamecock Nation to play Pro football. He had a stint of bad luck with injuries and opportunities and was not living up to his own expectations, he was not experiencing the rush that Gamecock football has provided him with for 4 years. I can only imagine the amount of pressure this young man must have been experiencing. And these are only the pressures we know about, who knows what else this young man must have been facing....I am only trying to find some way to cope...some way to understand a fragment of this

I hope we as fans can learn a lesson from this tragedy. We must cherish each trip to the Brice....each game....each night those lights shine. We must remind every player...currently on the roster and alumni that we have not forgotten them and that Gamecock Nation goes where-ever they go. You will always be in our hearts #11. God Bless You.

[cofcgamecock9]

It definitely doesn't make sense. Honestly, the ONLY thing I have come up with is that maybe he had some type of brain injury from repeated hits that alot of the media has been talking about lately. I believe a player in Pennsylvania committed suicide recently and an autopsy showed significant brain injury from repeated hits.

Is this line of thinking maybe a stretch at this point? Maybe. But to be honest, with a person like Kenny, it is the only thing that makes any sense to me.

[Carolina4Life]

I DO NOT think Kinny harmed himself in anyway. I really hope the Police investigate until no end. I just can't see Kenny doing this. To me he was not that type of person but then again you never know what somebody is going through.

[Go Carolina]

Originally Posted by Carolina4Life

I DO NOT think Kinny harmed himself in anyway. I really hope the Police investigate until no end. I just can't see Kenny doing this. To me he was not that type of person but then again you never know what somebody is going through.

I feel the exact same way.
Especially with his son in town to visit.
It just doesn't make any sense.
I'm not sure I'll EVER believe it, regardless of investigation.

Actually, I keep waiting for a news story where Kenny calls in and says it's mistaken identity and he is fine.

[eaglegolf018]

Originally Posted by Carolina4Life

I DO NOT think Kinny harmed himself in anyway. I really hope the Police investigate until no end. I just can't see Kenny doing this. To me he was not that type of person but then again you never know what somebody is going through.

Somebody just posted in another thread that he left a note

[Carolina4Life]

Who is to say he wrote it. I just read an article that came out 4 min ago that the police said they would not say if a note was seen or not at this time.

[Soze]

I've lost two friends to suicide in the last couple years and they all exhibited no signs of depression, at least outwardly to me and the rest of their friends. I know we all want to understand what would drive Kenny to do this, and a lot of us want to believe it was someone else who did this or an accident, but sometimes these things just don't make sense to anyone but the person himself. It's best just to remember him for all the great things he did for the university, the team and his friends and family. Let his memory live on through us.

[Slacker USC]

Originally Posted by Carolina4Life

I DO NOT think Kinny harmed himself in anyway. I really hope the Police investigate until no end. I just can't see Kenny doing this. To me he was not that type of person but then again you never know what somebody is going through.

The only thing more unbelievable to me than what has been reported, is the idea that anyone else would have ever harmed him.

Everyone loved Kenny. Friends, teammates, fans & alumni. Obviously, behind his smile he was hurting badly. I just don't think he understood how much he'd be hurting so many people by doing what he did. It breaks me up to think of how much pain he must have been in to even consider such a thing.

[Gamecock303]

If there is one thing I know it is this...we, as people will never be able to understand why/how certain things happen.

At times like this when we are left wondering you have to turn to whatever it is that you believe in (religion or whatever) and just try to understand that everything happens for a reason. All we can do is try and learn from this: if you are someone who is battling depression or suicidle thoughts dont be afraid to seek help, realize that any type of decision you make will not just effect you but those whose lives your have touched; for the rest of us make sure that you let those you care about know how you feel, you can never tell what is going on in someone's mind and while a smile may be on their face you never know when just a few words may make a huge difference.

[Xnex]

Originally Posted by Slacker USC

The only thing more unbelievable to me than what has been reported, is the idea that anyone else would have ever harmed him.

Everyone loved Kenny. Friends, teammates, fans & alumni. Obviously, behind his smile he was hurting badly. I just don't think he understood how much he'd be hurting so many people by doing what he did. It breaks me up to think of how much pain he must have been in to even consider such a thing.

Very well said; and spot on. I really hope we don't have a bunch of people begin to speculate on "why this happened". It happened; it hurts. We are fans of a university and it's sports programs. Unfortunately the players, and coaches can also fall victim to the same issues the rest of the population sometimes find themselves in. We sit outside of thier lives and think how great it would be to be that person. But we have no idea of the personal deamons that afflict other people.

Fair to say that this fine young man was in some sort of unbearable pain, and that no one knew enough to be able to help him work his way through it. For that I am saddened; as I am sure we all are. I pray for his family, especially his young son.

[tkousc]

RIP Kenny I met you briefly in 2005 when you were a freshmen and I was a Senior in the Russell House. Also I encourage everyone who is unsure about life to read the previous post by gamecock 303. Well put and of great impact and significance.

[SNEEZ]

There is no sense in this...no comment on anything about the situation except:

I hate this for his family and especially his child(ren), they have to live through this and will survive.

[CocoCock]

It must've been in a place so dark you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Roundin' third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage, you shined just like the sun

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
And was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, oh, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh, why? There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong, they lied, and now you're gone, and we cried

'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song

[usc90grad]

Guys....depression is one hell of a beast. Someone might look fine on the outside, but on the inside, they feel helpless and alone. Obviously the Kenny that took his life is not the same bright shining star we all knew.

[CockyCap'n]

Yesterday we lost one of the greatest Gamecocks of all time. It is almost impossible to fathom someone with such a great smile and disposition (at least externally) could get to a point where he felt suicide was the only way out of the troubles he was experiencing. Contrary to something I read in a report just now, I have only known of Kenny having a terrific support system (especially family, but fans and teammates as well) to help deal with any frustrations. When I heard the news, I immediately thought back to the Spring Game his freshman year when I sat right behind his mom and family. They were all wearing #11 jerseys with 'McKinley' on the back and yelling and waving pom poms every time he touched the ball. I thought, "Who is this McKinley kid?". Boy did I and everyone else in Gamecock nation find out quickly. The word 'special' just doesn't do Kenny justice, not by a long shot. As many have mentioned previously, let us all take this experience as a lesson now and always- love one another and reach out to those we believe may potentially have issues with depression. While what they're dealing with may not always be before our eyes, if we listen and can feel the least bit of their pain in our hearts, RAISE THEM UP! Many of us share a certain belief regarding suicide. Let us all share in the common goal of being there for people we know and care about any way we can so that these types of tragedies do not happen in the future. Kenny will be so sorely missed and the lesson we have learned from his death will no doubt be carried forth.

[Flameout12]

Originally Posted by usc90grad

Guys....depression is one hell of a beast.

Yes it is. It decends on you like a sudden dark cloud and sucks the life out of people. Kenny was in his 2nd consecutive year of season ending injuries and knee surgeries with long term rehab. We'll never know how much those setbacks hurt him. We can only speculate, but I hope there's some good that can come out of this and maybe others with depression will realize they need to cry for help. You're not alone.

[TKE226]

You folks asking why are not going to get your questions answered. Suicide (if that is the case here), but in general is a selfish act. Having been through it with a family member, the individual does not think of others when performing the act...how could one do that, otherwise they probably wouldnt do it. Whatever it is that drives one to think to end their life is very powerful and overwhelms the emotions and thoughts that they are needed and loved. Its been almost 4 years since a family member of mine committed suicide right before Christmas and the answers have not come.

It is best to move past that and remember the person for the good they did.

[garnetmike]

Originally Posted by Carolina4Life

I DO NOT think Kinny harmed himself in anyway. I really hope the Police investigate until no end. I just can't see Kenny doing this. To me he was not that type of person but then again you never know what somebody is going through.

We may end up hearing that he didn't end his own life, but I've been close to a couple of young people who have committed suicide and most everyone around swore that it could not have been - because these guys were always positive, happy-go-lucky, etc. It NEVER makes sense, but sometimes people just have a screw loose. This is terrible and my prayer is that the next young person who is close to making the same horrible decision - thinks better of it. Depression and the YUCK of life - almost always passes. Things get better - we just have to weather the storms that life throws us and things are usually pretty sunny on the other side.

Our prayers are with Kenny's family.

[scsilas]

Good post - my buddy Buck posted his own McKinley memories this morning see: The Rubber Chickens Blog, Remembering Kenny

[CockpetBagger]

I never met the guy but I still keep getting choked up. From what I knew of him, this seems so totally out of character. I can't help but wonder whether he was taking medication during his rehab and that triggered some kind of latent depression. It just doesn't add up.