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Old 03-25-2013, 07:54 PM   #1
The Yancey
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Default The mustard incident

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. “Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,” she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off….
It wasn’t mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, “Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . “Poupon.”

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Old 03-25-2013, 08:10 PM   #2
johnnyb
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Default Re: The mustard incident

Lol, I have changed some that would pass for spicy brown...
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:23 PM   #3
Luke Skycocker
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Default Re: The mustard incident

poop jokes,
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:27 PM   #4
MEL
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