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Old 05-30-2013, 03:08 PM   #1
usc90grad
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Default Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

Only side effect is vision loss

Asian Bro Claims The Masturbation Diet Helps Him Lose Weight

Kotaku - The Subway diet. The cabbage soup diet. The junk food diet. From Atkins to the Zone, there is an array of diets to help people slim down. Have you heard of the masturbation diet? You know, the one in which you drop pounds by playing with yourself furiously.

According to Nikkan Spa, a 28 year-old with the alias “Yuichi Ito” was able to lose nearly 9 pounds in two months, simply through watching his diet and flogging his log between three and five times a day. (Supposedly, Ito’s record was seven times in a single day.)

While in high school, Ito played baseball, but gained weight after he graduated. The 5 foot 5 inch Ito ballooned to 167 pounds, which would be considered overweight by Japanese standards. Ito decided that a good way to drop the excess pounds was to cut calories and have more sex. With himself. ”I read online that pleasuring oneself was the same as running 200 meters,” said Ito. “Without a girlfriend, the only way I could become thin was through masturbation!”
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:23 PM   #2
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

Whatever works i guess.
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:34 PM   #3
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

hairy palms
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

His record is 7 times in one day?

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Old 05-30-2013, 04:38 PM   #5
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

One summer I lost 40#'s by eating lunch and drinking 10-12 beers every night. I was in college and had money for only food or beer. Gotta have priorities, ya know!
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Old 05-30-2013, 04:54 PM   #6
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

I should have weighed 59 lbs. when I was 15.
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Old 05-30-2013, 06:36 PM   #7
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

Thought this was going to be about Skeetintheface.
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Old 05-30-2013, 07:39 PM   #8
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

It works!

I've lost 6lbs since this thread was started!

I love this diet!
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:28 PM   #9
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

He also has 1 forearm that looks like Popeye's
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:31 PM   #10
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

Does he eat a lot of Jack sauce?
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:44 PM   #11
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

No wonder Hog is so darn skinny.
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Old 05-30-2013, 10:12 PM   #12
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

"you drop pounds by" , dang he better wear his PPE

reminds me of George and the hair tonic, "you have hair like Stalin"
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Old 05-30-2013, 10:16 PM   #13
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

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Old 05-30-2013, 10:19 PM   #14
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"



Warren says it all.
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I think it would be awesome if you could get Morgan Freeman's voice on a GPS. It would be like he's narrating your travels

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Old 05-30-2013, 10:23 PM   #15
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

I wonder if this is racist....












And I would like to point out that even with his explaination, he at least had one other option:






















Ready for this shit?
























it is so obvious....























































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Old 06-01-2013, 02:37 AM   #16
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

Quote:
Originally Posted by GH View Post
I wonder if this is racist....












And I would like to point out that even with his explaination, he at least had one other option:






















Ready for this shit?
























it is so obvious....


























































Ding ding ding, winner!
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Old 06-01-2013, 08:40 AM   #17
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Default Re: Asian Guy Introduces "The Masturbation Diet"

So he forgot the Big Mac and went with the Big Whack.
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