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Old 09-03-2013, 12:05 PM   #1
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Default Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Does This Look Like The Face of a Woman "Bleeding Severely" After Trying to Dig $5,000 in Stolen Cash out of her Butthole with a Toilet Brush and Tongs?



nydailynews – A Tennessee woman had to be taken to the hospital Tuesday after she allegedly stole $5,000 from her boyfriend and stored the cash in an unusual hiding spot.

According to a police report, Bobby Gulley was under the suspicion that his girlfriend, 43-year-old Christie Black of Bulls Gap, was stealing from him. He told police he “set a trap” for the woman by placing one envelope with $4,000 in $100 bills and another with $1,000 in $100 bills in an old medicine bag along with undisclosed amounts of drugs including morphine and oxycodone. When he woke up, he noticed that Black was still awake, and that the contents of the medicine bag were gone.

He confronted the woman, who reportedly became ill and vomited up a plastic bag that contained partially-dissolved pills. “He then asked her where the money was, and she admitted to him she’d wrapped it up and stuck it in her rectum,” Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office Sgt. Michael Allen stated in his report. “Black admitted (to Allen) to taking the money and medication because Mr. Gulley was going to kick her out and she needed money for a place to live.”

Black attempted to remove the money from its hiding place with a toilet brush and tongs, but she was unsuccessful. Allen said Black was “bleeding severely” and was taken to the Hawkins County (Memorial Hospital) emergency room. “There, the wad of money was removed and collected as evidence,” Allen stated.
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Old 09-03-2013, 08:32 PM   #2
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

why yes, yes it does...
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Old 09-03-2013, 08:34 PM   #3
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Getting that money back makes for a shitty day.
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Old 09-03-2013, 09:21 PM   #4
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Does insurance cover having cash up the wazzou?
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Old 09-03-2013, 10:11 PM   #5
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Tongs, ok I can understand. But a toilet brush? How would that help get it out?
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Old 09-03-2013, 10:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Why is the "B" in butthole capitalized?
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Old 09-03-2013, 10:25 PM   #7
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Who the hell baits a trap with $5,000 cash, Oxycodone, and Morphine? I'm guessing Bobby didn't think this through.
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Old 09-03-2013, 10:55 PM   #8
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

The major question here is does he want the money back?
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Old 09-03-2013, 10:56 PM   #9
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Money up the bum? Reminds me of The Inbetweeners Movie! Haha
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Old 09-03-2013, 11:04 PM   #10
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by RGHoskins View Post
Why is the "B" in butthole capitalized?
Proper noun? It is a person, place, and thing.
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Old 09-03-2013, 11:48 PM   #11
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Now you now why your mama kept telling you that money was dirty.
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Old 09-03-2013, 11:58 PM   #12
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Yancey View Post
Now you now why your mama kept telling you that money was dirty.
Just think of this story the next time you get some change from the cashier.
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Old 09-04-2013, 12:31 PM   #13
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

She should have just borrowed a Butt Funnel from the frat boys at UT
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Old 09-04-2013, 01:48 PM   #14
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

That's not a swiss bank account
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Old 09-04-2013, 09:11 PM   #15
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

That gives money coming out the ass a whole new meaning.
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Old 09-05-2013, 08:18 AM   #16
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Ahh, she'll get Johnny Cochran as a lawyer...."if it doesn't fit, you must acquit"
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:09 AM   #17
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamecock88 View Post
Ahh, she'll get Johnny Cochran as a lawyer...."if it doesn't fit, you must acquit"
You know he's dead, right?
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:23 AM   #18
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Default Re: Where Not to Hide $5K if you Steal it from your Boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by bryarx View Post
You know he's dead, right?
and?
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