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Old 08-29-2014, 10:54 PM   #1
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Old 08-29-2014, 11:16 PM   #2
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DESIT
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Old 08-29-2014, 11:19 PM   #3
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We just invented a new drink called the Lorenzo Ward
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Old 08-29-2014, 11:22 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spareparts View Post
We just invented a new drink called the Lorenzo Ward
I just took up drinking because of Lorenzo Ward
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Old 08-29-2014, 11:56 PM   #5
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Lorenzo Ward made me Amish
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Old 08-30-2014, 12:00 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spareparts View Post
We just invented a new drink called the Lorenzo Ward
I've had it.

It's not very effective.
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Old 08-30-2014, 12:06 AM   #7
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I tried it. Couldn't hold it down.
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Old 08-30-2014, 01:51 AM   #8
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Default Re: IN

The Lorenzo Ward

Total Time:
4 15 min quarters
Prep:
Spring Ball
Cook:
5 min

Yield:
Ass whippings

Level:
Easy

Ingredients

Ice
2 parts corn mash whiskey
1 part virgin defensive linemen
1 to 2 dashes bitters
Orange peel
3 freshmen defensive backs


1 cup undermanned liqueur;
1 pint sour cherries, stemmed and pitted (in a pinch, you can buy a jar of sour cherries in light syrup, and drain the syrup). Reduce talent over a low flame, let some of the cherries bubble over to the NFL before they're ready. Strain.

Directions

Place ice in a cocktail shaker. Add bitters, undermanned liqueur, and virgin defensive linemen. Rub the orange peel and freshman DBs around the rim of the cocktail glass. Strain the mixture until 3/4 of it is gone. Rearrange ingredients and strain one more time. Pour corn mash whiskey into a separate cocktail glass. Hurl the contents of the strained mixture into the wall at full force. Drink the corn mash whiskey.

May cause coverage confusion and blindness.
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Old 08-30-2014, 04:06 PM   #9
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Default Re: IN

Quote:
Originally Posted by Acockolypse Now View Post
The Lorenzo Ward

Total Time:
4 15 min quarters
Prep:
Spring Ball
Cook:
5 min

Yield:
Ass whippings

Level:
Easy

Ingredients

Ice
2 parts corn mash whiskey
1 part virgin defensive linemen
1 to 2 dashes bitters
Orange peel
3 freshmen defensive backs


1 cup undermanned liqueur;
1 pint sour cherries, stemmed and pitted (in a pinch, you can buy a jar of sour cherries in light syrup, and drain the syrup). Reduce talent over a low flame, let some of the cherries bubble over to the NFL before they're ready. Strain.

Directions

Place ice in a cocktail shaker. Add bitters, undermanned liqueur, and virgin defensive linemen. Rub the orange peel and freshman DBs around the rim of the cocktail glass. Strain the mixture until 3/4 of it is gone. Rearrange ingredients and strain one more time. Pour corn mash whiskey into a separate cocktail glass. Hurl the contents of the strained mixture into the wall at full force. Drink the corn mash whiskey.

May cause coverage confusion and blindness.
I am very concerned that this post will not receive the attention it deserves
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Old 08-30-2014, 04:08 PM   #10
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Default Re: IN

I'm used to it.
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Old 08-30-2014, 04:11 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Acockolypse Now View Post
I'm used to it.
Quality not quantity. The right people know the deal.

Like the wrap up. Only a select few are permitted to understand. Kind of like when Fugazi played to 15 people in front of the White House in 1989.
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Old 08-30-2014, 04:24 PM   #12
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Default Re: IN

Quote:
Originally Posted by spareparts View Post
I am very concerned that this post will not receive the attention it deserves
The only part you missed was the summer long PR tour extolling the virtues of this new drink that will revolutionize the craft cocktail industry.
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Old 08-30-2014, 04:42 PM   #13
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One other very important step to pouring this drink:

YOU MUST POUR THE GLASS HALF EMPTY
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Old 08-31-2014, 12:09 AM   #14
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You also have to remove 1 ice cube for non-qualifying.
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Old 08-31-2014, 02:11 PM   #15
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Default Re: IN

Last night I tried chasing it with a big glass of clemons sucks too, but all it did was cause temporary blindness and an acute case of how we gonna stop gurley.
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